ANSWERING-MACHINE MESSAGE 173

(Fairly boring message:)

“This is John. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I’ll return your call.”

(Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same.)

IRS Audits Grandpa

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying...