EMPLOYEE WANT AD TRANSLATIONS

* Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.

* Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.

* Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.

* Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.

* Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.

IRS Audits Grandpa

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying...