His eminence Sheikh Saleh ibn Abdullah ibn Humaid –may Allah protect him– delivered this  Khutbah titled “Good Manners and Propriety” in which he discussed Islamic good manners and moral standards of behaviour that Muslims should observe. These standards, he said, form part and parcel of our Islamic rulings, legislations and instructions. Sheikh Ibn Humaid cited examples such as salat, fasting, hajj, etc. and said that Islam preached virtue and forbade vice.

Praise be to Allah Whose kindness preempts all misfortunes and wards off all conspiracies! I praise Him (Almighty Allah) and thank Him and beg for more of His favours and magnanimity. With His kindness and favours graces and benefits multiply. I bear witness that there is no deity worth worshipping except Allah alone with no associates. The signs of His oneness are infinitely manifest in in all His creations. I also bear witness that our Master and Prophet Muhammad is the Servant and Messenger of Allah –a chosen Prophet of a chosen descent, of a most noble birth, may Allah send His Salat (Graces, Honours and Mercy), Peace and blessings on him, his pure and virtuous family –people of benevolence and high traits– and on his sincere and audacious Companions whose merits realized great achievements, and on the tabi??n and their followers in righteousness.

Having said that, I urge you, O people, and myself to fear Allah. So fear of Allah, may Allah have mercy on you. There is nothing more precious than sound health and nothing more prodigious than contentment. "…and the raiment of righteousness, that is better" [al-A?r?f: 26]

O Muslims!
A virtuous man was asked once, “Have you read Aristotle’s Ethics?” He proudly replied, “No, but I have read Muhammad’s ethics.”

Allah is great! The Book of our Lord is replete with instructions and moral codes of life and living including some for eating and drinking, speaking and acting, leave taking and discourse principles, dealing and attire, time and schedule keeping, etc. All these are detailed in the Sunnah and Sirah of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam), who was sent to perfect good ethics and behaviour.

Religious laws and rulings were revealed in a complementary fashion and in an edifice of sound moral code, norms of conduct and high sensibility.

O Muslims!
High moral standards, propriety and decency of manners are among the greatest favours Allah has bestowed on His servants. Consideration for other people’s feelings and principles of dealing with others are among the great religious aims.

Propriety is an instance of gentle behaviour and a superb act of benevolence. It embodies refinement, courtesy, good conduct, lofty behaviour and avoids offending words, deeds, or gestures and what may be embarrassing or harmful to others.

Cheerful people with amiable nature and smiling faces are liked everywhere as hearts tend to move closer to the humble. Meeting others with a smile, shaking hands with them and addressing them in kind and sweet words would certainly break the ice, and make them more than willing to accept your counsel, information, criticism or directives.

Brothers in Allah!
Propriety and good morals are signs of good faith and a banner of happiness that help one enjoy the pleasures of life and respect and please others. Bashfulness is, after all, a strand of faith.

Have you heard of anyone who outdid our Example, Master and Leader Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) in good morals and propriety? Haven’t you read in his S?rah that a woman-slave used to take him by the hand wherever she wanted? He was the first to greet others and to stretch out his hand to shake theirs. He would wait for his interlocutor to take his hand away first or to move away from him. “The Prophet was never seen with his knee high in the presence of an interlocutor!” [Narrated by Tirmidhi]   

Anas (RA) said: “Whenever someone drew close to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) in order to whisper something in his ear, he would not withdraw until the whispering man himself did. His laughter was just a smile.”

Dear Muslims!
Likewise, the commands, rulings, and directives of our faith are unbelievably gentle and fine. On surveying the great acts of worship in Islam, one may readily realize the strength of the worship-ethic rapport. The acts of worships are the corner stone of faith. Though different in form, they are definitely similar in content. They are the precursor to perfection, the threshold to purity and the incipient to benevolence.

Salat, for instance, shuns evil and sin; it is an incarnation of refinement and good behaviour requiring worshippers to take good care of their appearance and to wear perfume in preparation for prayer, to walk to the mosque in tranquility and dignity, to stand in straight lines, to fill the gaps between worshippers, avoid eating garlic or onion and all foul-smelling food before going to the mosque.

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) told the man who jumped ranks in the mosque, “Sit down! You have disturbed the others.”

If you, servants of Allah, are seeking reward for your worship, you must refrain from harming your brothers (in faith).

Insofar as Zakat is concerned, Allah (Ta'ala) says, "Take Sadaqah (alms) from their wealth in order to purify them and sanctify them with it, and invoke Allâh for them. Verily! Your invocations are a source of security for them; and Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower" [at-Tawbah: 103]. You may wish to make your charity explicit or discreet depending on the situation, in consideration of the people’s dignity and feelings: "Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allâh is Rich (Free of all needs) and He is Most-Forbearing." [al-Baqarah: 263]

Charity, in Islam, is a broader concept than mere alms giving. Smiling at you brother (in faith), giving directions to someone who lost his way, removing harm from the road and guiding the blind are all acts of charity.

Fasting involves abandoning all forms of evil in words or deeds. The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said, “He who does not renounce evil words and deeds, Allah does not need his renunciation of food and drink.” Fasting involves abandoning laghu (useless talk) and rafath (bad language or sexual intercourse with one’s wives). “If someone called him names, he should answer him, ‘I am fasting’.”

Hajj is the sustenance of piety. "The Hajj (pilgrimage) is (in) the well-known (lunar year) months (i.e. the 10th month, the 11th month and the first ten days of the 12th month of the Islâmic calendar, i.e. two months and ten days). So whosoever intends to perform Hajj therein (by assuming Ihrâm), then he should not have sexual relations (with his wife), nor commit sin, nor dispute unjustly during the Hajj" [al-Baqarah: 197]. In Hajj you have to observe tranquility and avoid exaggeration. Never cause your brother (in faith) any harm in congested places, or while leaving the Mash??ir (holy sites of hajj rituals), casting jim?r (small stones), circumambulating the Ka?bah, kissing the Black Stone or performing sa?i (hurrying between Safa and Marwa mounts seven times).

Dear Muslims!
Some worshippers –may Allah grant them success and accept their efforts– are unable to correlate the acts of good worship with those of good behaviour. You see them performing their Salat on time and observing the formal aspects of all their acts of worship. But alas! They commit acts that are contradictory with good manners. If one’s worship does not purify one’s behaviour; if one’s faith does not refine one’s ethics, one gains but very little. All Muslims are aware of the figurative meaning of the “muflis” (bankrupt).  He is identified as the one who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, fasting, and zakat, but comes also while he has insulted, slandered, consumed others’ wealth unlawfully, shed blood, and beat others; then he will have to account for his misdeeds. So where are his good deeds?

Would anyone with a gloomy face, evil intentions, and aggressive looks look pious. “The three signs of the hypocrite are: telling lies, treachery and breaking promises. His Salat and fasting will not make him a Muslim.” [Authentic hadith]

One of the aims of worship is to ward off discord and depression of the souls. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said, “Straighten your ranks, and be resilient vis-à-vis your brethren, and do not differ lest your hearts differ too” and “The faithful is judged by his good morals attaining the rank of a fasting and praying man.” [Narrated by Abu Dawud]

O Muslims!
Refined propriety and good manners should also be observed when having meals. One should not forget to wash one’s hands before eating, eat from what is right in front of him, avoid blowing into hot food or breathing into the pitcher, refrain from uttering repulsive words and doing nasty things or gestures. Otherwise, one may eat what he likes from permissible food and wear garments that are agreeable to people.

When Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) was invited to a man’s house, he told his host, “You invited five of us, and this man is one of ours. You can either accept him or send him back.” “O Prophet of Allah, we accept him for your sake,” the host replied.

These are ?by your Lord? true good manners; this is propriety in its most sublime image and meaning.

Other instances of high good manners and real propriety include manners of visiting and taking permission that apply to all, adults and children alike, such as knocking at the door gently and not standing right in front of it, taking permission is essentially a measure for protecting one's privacy and observing convenience when it comes to the visiting time: "And if you are asked to go back, go back, for it is purer for you"[An-Nûr: 28]. It is also a measure to give a chance to the host to seat his guest inside his home wherever he wishes or wherever it is judged appropriate, depending on the situation, for hosts know better the short comings (failings, defects) of their own houses. Similarly, it would be unbecoming of anyone to ask anyone else to leave their sitting place for them. By the same token, it would be highly recommended to make room for the other while in congregation, "And when you are told to rise up [for prayers, or Jihâd (holy fighting in Allah's cause),or for any other good deed], rise up"[Al-Mujâdilah: 11].

Moreover, no two should hold secret counsel without the permission of the third, for this would cause him discomfort, "And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission"[An-Nûr: 59], "and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr (morning) Salât (prayer), and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the ‘Ishâ’ (late-night) Salât (prayer)."[An-Nûr: 58]

With respect to manners in the context of meetings, consultation, and running sessions, the Qur’?n instructs us as follows: " The true believers are only those, who believe in (the Oneness of) Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam)(: and when they are with him on some common matter, they go not away until they have asked his permission. Verily those who ask your permission, those are they who (really) believe in Allâh and His Messenger. So if they ask your permission for some affairs of theirs, give permission to whom you will of them, and ask Allâh for their forgiveness. Truly, Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" [An-Nûr: 62]

In order to ensure one’s civility vis-a-vis one’s neighbours, one is instructed not to look inside one’s neighbour's home, or try to find out what he is carrying. Rather, one should avoid glancing at one’s neighbour's wife and try to cover what is uncovered of his flaws.
   
It is only decent when calling on a sick person to sit for just a short while, make supplication to Allah to grant him good health and then leave; for visiting the sick is different from ordinary visiting.

Tactfulness, decency and propriety ought to be manifested in the way we drive our cars, park them, obey traffic rules, respect speed limits, use public facilities and protect and keep these facilities clean and well-maintained. We also have to remember the bounties Allah has bestowed upon us nowadays including the means of social communication. These should be properly used whether for conversing, sending and receiving messages.

One of the highest and most prominent signs of propriety and good manners is bashfulness; particularly when one abstains from doing what is wrong and feels above all that is inappropriate.

Consider, for instance, the following sublime image of the Prophet. Abu Said Al-Khudri (RA) says: "The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) was more bashful than the virgin in her private room, and if he ever saw anything he hated, we would know this by (looking at) his face." [Narrated by Muslim]

Yes, indeed, only people with good manners and propriety would feel embarrassed if ever thought by others to have committed wrongdoing; they would be keen to keep their reputation pure, unblemished and protected against rumours and suspicions.

These manners of conduct also include knowing people’s rights and ranks in order to revere them and show them respect. We have to acknowledge the merits of each one of them; thus, a young boy should behave in a certain way with his elders, a student with his teacher, and a son with his father. The Sultan (ruler) as well as the ‘?lim (scholar) have their respective positions and should be respected accordingly.

O Muslims!
These are certain forms of behavior and conduct that would reveal a man's good discretion, decency, etiquette, and taste. Wise men have said: "merit is gained by reason and good manners not by origin or lineage; rather, if a person's lineage is low, his good manners lift him up."

Good manners are a means to every virtue and a pretext for every Sharia. Abu Ja'far Al-Mansour says: "If you want to be praised profusely, then meet people with a smiling face."

Propriety, O servants of Allah, is not a weakness, for a generous well-respected man would rather lose his life than his self-respect; the wise man, in the presence of his fellow men, behaves properly and kindly; he controls his conduct and speaks measurably. However, in certain circumstances, fits of anger or passion would indicate a potential for nobility and generous nature.

A good-mannered person receives you generously by word and deed no matter how you approach him, for good words may be more effective than power and authority. Indeed, it an indication of good reason when one prefers listening to speaking.

I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan: "And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allâh likes not any arrogant boaster." [Luqmân: 18] "And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses." [Luqmân: 19]  

May Allah (Ta’ala) benefit me and you with the great Qur’?n and with the guidance of Prophet Mohammed (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam)! I say this and ask Allah’s forgiveness for you and me and for all the Muslims! So ask for His forgiveness; He is the All-Forgiving, the All-Merciful!