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Maintaining Family Ties

Nov 28, 2019
By Sh Salih Ibn Humaid

O Believers fear Allah and be sincere to Him in your worship and fear Allah through whom you demand your rights and do not sever your relations with kinship.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala says: “O Mankind be dutiful to your Lord who created you from a single person and from him he created his wife and from them both he created many men and women”. (An-Nisa’: 1)

Your Rabb created you from a single person – one soul . Your soul is one and your origin is one – one family from which many men and women came about and they all go back to one kinship. From this starting point came the obligation of maintaining solidarity, and being merciful with one another.

Servants of Allah the family of a person and his relatives are his support and they are his origin and his strength. Ali (Radhiyallahu Anhu) said: “With your tribe you fight and gain dignity, they are your support at times of hardship. Honor the dignified of them and visit the sick of them. Help the one in need of them and let not your family be the one who gets the worst of you”.

Brothers in Islam Allah has commanded us to believe in His Oneness and has prohibited us from associating others with Him. To this He has joined being dutiful to parents and relatives.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala says: “Worship Allah and join not with Him and do good and be dutiful to parents, kinsfolk’s, orphans, poor , neighbor who is near of kin , and neighbor who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer and those slaves whom your right hands posses. Verily Allah does not like such as are proud and boastful” (An-Nisa’: 36).

Allah Ta’aala says: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship non but Him and that you be dutiful to your parents”. (Al-Israa: 23). “And give to the kinsmen his due and to the poor and to the wayfarer” (Al-Israa: 26).

O Believers, maintaining good ties and being dutiful to kinship is a right of every one who has relationship with you through blood or marriage and the closer he is in relation, the more obligated one is, in maintaining the relationship.

As the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said when he was explaining the importance of relation he said “Your mother…your mother…your mother, then your father, then the closest , then the closer”. The way to fulfil the rights of kinship is to spread love, harmony, tolerance, sincerity and good heartedness.

From the greatest favors that Allah bestowed upon couples who are the origin and the seed of the family is that He put between then affection and mercy as He says: “And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves that you may find repose in them and He has put between you affection and mercy”(Ar- Rum: 21).

The basis of good relationship and strong family bonds is mercy and affection. If this is lost, this will break all bonds, corruption will spread and people will become worthy of the curse of Allah.

Allah Ta’aala says: “And those who break the covenant of Allah after its rectification and severed that which Allah has commanded to be joined, the bond of kinship that is, and work mischief in the land on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy evil home, (i.e. hell)” (Ar-Raad: 25).

Maintaining good relations and ties with kinship blesses the provisions and brings success in life. Allah grants strength and provides support, because of it and fills peoples hearts with honor and respect for he who maintains good relationships.

In the books of Imam Ahmad and Ibn Majah reported by A’isha (Radhiyallahu Anha) the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: “Maintaining good ties with kinship, good manners, and being kind to neighbors brings blessings to the house hold and increases its life span”.

In the books of Al Imam Al Bazar and Al Haakim, Ali (Radhiyallahu Anhu) said that the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said “He who desires that his life be prolonged and he be granted more provisions and to protected from the evil end , then let him fear Allah and maintain good ties with kinship”.

In the book of Al Imam Al Bukhari the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said as reported by Anas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) “He who desires that he be granted more provisions and his life be prolonged should maintain good ties with his kinship” . In the books of Al Imam Ahmad and At Tirmidhi and At Tabarani the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said “Maintaining good ties with kinship brings love between relatives and increases wealth and prolongs life”. The meaning of increased provisions and wealth and prolonged life is that Allah fills the provisions and life with Barakah.

By maintaining good ties with kinship, love increases and harmony and the bond between relatives are strengthened and it removes enmity and achieves sympathy between relatives.

You also need to know that maintaining good ties with kinship and being kind to relatives could be done in different ways and means, like being cheerful and smiling when meeting them and being soft when treating them, talking to them kindly, approaching them with a bright face, visiting, asking about one another, calling, corresponding , supporting the needy, spending and exchanging gifts, overlooking and disregarding mistakes, forgiving faults, ignoring shortcomings, being fair and just and asking Allah to make them righteous and successful.

The most sincere and greater in maintaining ties, is the one who keeps good relations when he is abandoned and takes the initiative and is forgiving when they make mistakes; is kind to them when they harm and wrong him.

Being kind to those who are kind to you, makes you equal in returning their kindness. But the reality of maintaining good ties and relationship with kinship is as explained by the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) when he said in the book of Al Imam Al Bukhari as reported by Abdullah Ibnu Amur Ibu A’as (Radhiyallahu Anhu) the messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said “The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he get recompensed by his relatives but the one who truly maintains the bond of kinship is the one who persist in doing so, even though others have severed ties with him and abandon him”.

In the book of Imam Muslim Abu Huraira (Radhiyallahu Anu) reports that a man came to the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep the ties of kinship, but they severe relations with me, I treat kindly but they treat me badly, I am gentle to them but they are rough to me”. He said (Aleihi Swalatu Wa Salam) in reply: “If the matter is as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot aches and you will continue to have a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do so “.

After all of this O Believers, after all these verses and ahadith (sayings of the Prophet Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam), some people are insensitive and without feelings, staying away from guidance and insisting on abandoning his relatives and kingships. It is a shame for those who Allah has granted esteem, honor and increased provisions yet they abandon and denounce their relatives and kingship and treats them with pride and some might be so proud that they deny relationship with them, let alone being kind, helpful and supportive to them.

Severing ties with kinship is destructive and a reason for being cursed and ‘blindness’ as Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala: “Would you then if you were given the authority do mischief in the land and sever your ties with kinship such are they whom Allah has cursed so that he has made them deaf and blinded their sight” (Muhammad: 22- 23).

Severing relations with kinship is one of the great major sins and its punishment takes place in this life and in the hereafter. In the books of Al Imam Abu Dawood and Tirmidhi reported by Abubakar Radhiyallahu Anhu that the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said: “There is not a sin that is worse which Allah hastens the punishment for its commiter in this life and what he will have waiting for him in the hereafter for oppression and severing ties with kinship”.

In the books of Al Imam Ahmad and Bukhari reported by Abu Hurairah (Radhiyallahu Anhu) the messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said “The deeds of the son of Adam are presented every Thursday night and the deeds for the one who severs tie with kinship are rejected”.

Ibu Masoud (Radhiyallahu Anhu) was siting one morning in a circle with a group when he said : “By Allah I ask him who has severed ties with his kinship to leave us, for we want to supplicate and call upon our Lord and the gates of heavens are blocked and sealed against the one who severed ties with kinship”.

Brothers, the good deed that is rewarded the quickest is maintaining good ties with kinship and being kind to them and the quickest punishment is for oppression and severing ties with kinship. Yet you see some hastening in severing ties with kingships for the lest and simplest reasons. Maybe for something he heard or for something minor that he saw, not knowing that with this, he brings to himself and his family, enmity and abandonment and they become worthy of the curse of Allah and the withholding of Allah’s blessings resulting in an evil consequence.

As Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala says: “And those who break the covenant of Allah after its rectification and sever that which Allah has commanded to be jointed and work mischief in the land on them is the curse and for them is the unhappy evil home” ( Ar-Raad: 25).

Zaidal Abideen Ibnu Ali Ibnul Husain the grandchild of Al Hussein (Radhiyallahu Anhu) advised his son saying “Don’t accompany one who severs ties with kinship for I found him to be cursed in the book of Allah in three different places”.

So fear Allah and maintain good ties with kinship and blood relations. Be kind to relatives even if they abandon and neglect you, maintain ties with them even if they sever ties with you, this will result in Allah continuing to bless you and increasing your blessing your life.


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