fbpx
CURRENTLY ON AIR ⇒
  • Riyaadhuth Thaakereen - Live Thikr Programme
    Thu, 4:00 am - 5:00 am
    [ - ]

feedback@radioislam.org.za

Radio Islam Logo


((( Listen Live )))))
Radio Islam Logo


POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT

Jan 19, 2010
Teaching your Child about Islam
 
Negative comments and treatment result in negative attributes in our children, and positive comments and treatment result in positive results. The term 'positive and negative reinforcement' is popular in modern psychology, but it was advocated by the Qu'ran and the actions and sayings of Prophet Muhammad (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him), 1400 years ago. How do we use positive reinforcement to teach our children?

Young children are basically good. Furthermore they want to please their parents. When you praise them for their good behaviour by telling them that Papa and/or Mama is happy with their action, you are using positive reinforcement. Unfortunately many parents ignore their child's good actions and only comment on the bad actions. Let us take an example.

EXAMPLE
Iman is three years old and has a baby brother, Samir, who is one. She gets out her blocks to play with and of course Samir crawls over to get involved. She gives him a red block and then proceeds to build a tower. Samir grows tired of his one block and tries to get more. In the process he knocks down the tower. Iman reacts angrily and grabs all the blocks and tells her brother that he can't play with any of the blocks. Her mother hears her and shouts at her angrily, "Iman you are a bad girl not to share with your brother. Give him some blocks!

Iman did two actions concerning her brother: 1. She gave him a block and 2. She took the blocks away. She received attention from her mother for the bad actions. This teaches her that if she wants attention from her mother, she should NOT share.

How else could the mother have handled it? If she had praised Iman when she first shared ("Iman, what a nice sister you are, to share with your brother. I'm so happy to see you do that."), then Iman would remember that her doing ‘good’ resulted in her mother's attention. When her brother knocks over her blocks, her first inclination will probably be to grab all the blocks but if her mother is there to console her and encourage her to try again ("Oh Iman, it's too bad that Samir knocked over your blocks. He was trying to play with you, but he is too little to be good at making towers. Why don't you build a little tower for him to play with, and then you can build a big one for yourself."), then she will happily give him more blocks. She will want to share next time as well because that action got her mother's attention.

~ Teaching your Child about Islam, Freda Shamma PhD ~

ADVERTISE HERE

Prime Spot!!!

Contact:
advertisingadmin@radioislam.co.za 

Related Articles

How to navigate our kids’ friendships and their playdates

How to navigate our kids’ friendships and their playdates

Shakirah Hunter Loneliness can be a test that we are unable to navigate as adults and can find it extremely challenging to make friends and to navigate the social rules of friendship. Creating social connections begin in our childhood. Although some people might be...

read more

Akhlaaq: The Key Differentiator

  By Mirza Yawar Baig It is when parents bring up self centered children focused on consumption, that in their fight to get the most for themselves, they think nothing of breaking family ties. When children are focused to what they can contribute and with a constant...

read more

Love or Desire

  Where in the world, are the Muslim youth getting their ideals about love, marriage and family?In Bahrain, a teenage Muslim princess ran away from her family, her home and country forever, putting her life in jeopardy in order to marry an American marine she hardly...

read more

10 Tips for Muslims when using Social Media

By Kabira DewanAs-salaamualaikum (May Peace and Blessings be Upon You)Before sharing my 10 tips with you, it is worth me saying that I am not writing this article from a Shariah standpoint as I am not qualified to do so, but instead more guidance on “good...

read more

Divorce and a Muslim Family

By Farana LambatAlong with the frequent and horrific divorce and child custody stories I hear, I have come to the realization that Muslims need to learn how (and why) to get divorced as much as they need to learn how to get and stay married.I’m not being...

read more

Subscribe to our Newsletter

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.