By Sheikh Abdul-Bari ibn Awwad Ath-Thubaiti – 12 Shawaal 1435

His Eminence Sheikh Abdul-Bari ibn Awwad Ath-Thubaiti, may Allah preserve him, delivered the Friday khutbah entitled, “The Good Treatment of Fellow Muslims”, in which he talked about forms of the good treatment of fellow Muslims, showing how this is realised when dealing with parents, brothers and sisters, close and distant relatives, and spouses. He also showed how good treatment is realised when dealing with the weak, the poor and needy, the notables, the people in authority, the elderly, and other members of the Muslim community.‎

Praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah, Who has ordained that His believing servants will be admitted to Paradise, the Abode of the Righteous. I praise Him, Glorified be He, and thank Him in public and in secret. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone, Who has no partners, and Whose Oneness we firmly acknowledge. I also bear witness that our master and prophet, Muhammad, is His servant and messenger; we believe in him and love him with certainty and determination. May Allah bestow His peace upon him and upon his family and Companions, who were blessed with grace and altruism.

Now then!
I advise you and advise myself to fear Allah. Allah, Exalted be He, says:
“O you who believe! Fear Allah (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. [Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always], and die not except in a state of Islam [as Muslims (with complete submission to Allah)].” (Al ‘Imran: 102)‎

Our relation with other Muslims should be based on truthfulness, sincere love, heartfelt harmony, and boundless generosity. The people who deserve our best treatment are our parents, without whom we would not come to life. Their right to be honoured is therefore confirmed and honouring them is given the highest priority. Good treatment of parents is realised by honouring them, showing kindness to them, serving them with one’s effort and money, praying for them whether they are alive or dead, and showing respect to their friends. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The highest form of honouring one’s father is to maintain relations with the people whom he loved.”

The good treatment of brothers and sisters is realised by showing kindness to them and observing good manners in both words and deeds when dealing with them. The young should respect the old and the old should show mercy to the young so that love may prevail, affection may increase, harmony may be established, and happiness may surround them all. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The hand that gives is the upper hand. Start with those whom you support – your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, and then the next closest to you.”

Good treatment should also be extended to the close and distant relatives by attending to their needs, helping them, enquiring about them, and frequently visiting them. Allah, Exalted be He, says:

“They ask you (O Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)) what they should spend. Say: Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred …” (Al-Baqarah: 215)

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Charity given to a poor person is a single act of charity, but charity given to a relative is twofold; for it is both charity and maintenance of ties of kinship.”

The good treatment of one’s wife is realised by saying sweet words to her, treating her kindly, being nice to her, spending generously on her, demonstrating unceasing joy and amiability to her, fulfilling her psychological and emotional needs, and bringing happiness to her. Regarding wives, Allah, Exalted be He, says:

“… and live with them honourably. …” (An-Nisa’: 19)

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The best among you is the best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family”. In the khutbah of the Farewell Pilgrimage, the Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, reminded the Muslims of the rights of women and the husbands’ duties towards their wives. He said, “Take good care of women, for they are under your charge.”

The wife should also adhere to the good treatment of her husband, which is done by showing kindness and gentleness to him, patiently bearing any minor misbehaviour that he may make, dealing well with his children and bringing them up properly, speaking well of him, praising him, fulfilling the right of his mother and taking good care of her, and never showing ungratefulness to him.

The good treatment of neighbours is realised by showing kindness to them, enquiring about them, keeping their secrets, refraining from harming them, not violating their rights, respecting them, and caring for their feelings. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Jibril (Angel Gabriel) continued to advise me to treat neighbours kindly so much so that I thought he would order me to make them heirs.” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, also said, “By Allah, he is not a believer! By Allah, he is not a believer! By Allah, he is not a believer!” It was said, “Who is that, O Allah’s Messenger?” He said, “He whose neighbour does not feel safe from his evil.”

Muslims should also observe the good treatment of the weak and the poor by helping them with money, sharing with them some of their time, and showing sympathy with them. This is bound to relieve their distress, alleviate their suffering, save them from begging, keep their dignity, and satisfy their hunger. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The one who looks after a widow and a poor person is like the one who fights in the cause of Allah, or like the one who prays all the night and fasts all the day.”

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, urged us to honour the elderly and treat them well. Abu Musa Al-Ash‘ari, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Part of glorifying Allah is to honour elderly Muslims.” Honouring them involves providing them with medical, psychological, social, and financial care, giving priority to them, lending them a listening ear, and showing kindness to them. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Jibril (Angel Gabriel) ordered me to give priority to the elderly.” Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was using the tooth-stick (siwak), in the presence of two men, one older than the other. Then Allah revealed to him that part of the virtues of siwak is to begin with the elderly, so he gave it first to the older one.”

Good treatment, servants of Allah, involves dealing with people according to their status, giving them their due respect and appreciation, and mentioning their merits and good qualities. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recognised people’s merits. He said, “He who does not respect our elderly, show mercy to our young, or recognize the rights of our scholars is not one of my Ummah.” When Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, victoriously returned to Makkah, Abu Sufyan came to him and embraced Islam. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, wanted to keep his faith firm, being aware that he was one of the Quraish notables who liked to be granted a privilege and liked to have something to boast of. Therefore, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever enters Abu-Sufyan’s house is granted safety.”

Scholars have the right to be given their due respect by Muslims. Islam guides us to treat them well by attentively listening to them, appreciating and respecting them, and seeking their company. When the Prophet’s Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, sat by the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, to listen to his teachings, they would be so attentive and motionless as if birds had alighted upon their heads. Zaid ibn Thabit, may Allah be pleased with him, once performed the funeral prayer and then his mule was brought to him to ride. Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, took the mule’s reins to bring it to Zaid, so Zaid said, “You don’t need to do that, O cousin of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him!” Ibn ‘Abbas then said, “This is how we were commanded to treat our scholars and elders.”

The good treatment of scholars also includes holding one’s tongue from speaking ill of them or disparaging them, for insulting scholars is bound to cause one’s own destruction, and the Way of Allah to dishonour those who insult them is well-known. If anyone insults scholars by his tongue, Allah will afflict him by the death of his heart during his life.

Servants of Allah!
The good treatment of those in authority is realised by showing obedience to them (as long as this does not involve any disobedience to Allah), praying for them in their absence so that Allah may make them good and so that others may become good through them, and giving them sincere advice in all religious matters. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Religion is sincere advice.” The Companions asked, “For whom, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “For Allah, His Book, and His Messenger, and for the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.”

Some people, servants of Allah, are hard to deal with, and their bad manners cause a lot of harm to those around them. Some kind of tact is therefore required when dealing with such people. Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that a man asked permission to see the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. When the Prophet saw him, he said, “What an evil brother of his tribe! What an evil son of his tribe!” When that man sat down, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, smiled at him and was cheerful to him. After the man had left, Aishah said to the Prophet, “O Allah’s Messenger! When you saw that man, you said such and such about him, and then you smiled at him and were cheerful to him.” Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O Aishah! Have you ever seen me utter obscene words? The worst people in Allah’s sight on the Day of Resurrection are those whom people avoid for fear of being hit by their evil.”

Good relations last and become stronger by fulfilling people’s needs, appreciating their good deeds, avoiding showing negligence to them, visiting them, enquiring about them, supporting them with money, patiently bearing their roughness, defending them in their absence, and dealing with them according to their own ways. Shabib ibn Shaybah, may Allah have mercy on his soul, said, “Do not sit with anyone without taking his status into account, for if you speak to the ignorant using knowledge, to the unmindful using Islamic jurisprudence, and to the inarticulate using eloquence, then you will definitely harm your companion.”

Servants of Allah!
Good relations last by keeping away from disputes and giving priority to reconciliation over alienation. It is narrated that Ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Love your beloved moderately, for perhaps he will become hateful to you someday; and hate the one you hate moderately, for perhaps he will become your beloved someday.”

May Allah bless you and me with the Great Qur’an and make us benefit from its verses and wise words. I have said what you have heard and I ask forgiveness of Allah, the Most Great, for myself and for you. Ask Allah for forgiveness. He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.