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<\/p>\nRabia Mayet | rabiamayet@radioislam.co.za<\/p>\n
15 April 2026<\/p>\n
6-minute read<\/p>\n
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Once children enter their teens, the ball game changes. The ages between 13 and 19 are an age of madness, a long and difficult period fraught with uncertainty, and it is at this time that teens require understanding from other members of the family, especially their parents.<\/p>\n
You will find your self-conscious teen worrying about how they look and what they wear, becoming aware of their height and weight. They begin to worry about their future careers, further studies, and choice of marriage partners. These factors, along with hormones that cause the body to grow rapidly, will cause your teen to become anxious and irritable. He or she may also become extremely moody and angry at this stage.<\/p>\n
There are certain noticeable changes that occur at this stage.<\/p>\n
At this age, a teenager\u2019s emotions \u201cmay dominate over reason and thought,\u201d leading to irrational thought processes and decisions. To avoid \u201cvery serious future emotional imbalances\u201d in your child, conscious parenting comes in. Your teen wants to be treated like an adult but act like a child. These feelings are normal, as long as they do not become \u201cUncontrollable!\u201d<\/p>\n
At this stage, parents, who have already gone through this stage themselves, are the more matured, responsible adults, should learn to think twice before reacting to their teenager\u2019s mood swings and outbursts. The key is to \u201cignore it when you observe it but discuss it in a matured way at an alternate time.\u201d<\/p>\n
A teens intellect develops and begins to work better around the ages of 13 to 14, making them able to learn and manage complicated things they were unable to learn at an earlier age. This is the time to link the mind and the intellect in a positive way. Parents should use this period to teach their teenagers important life skills like cooking, cleaning and fixing things around the house to channel their energies correctly. This is also the age to learn social skills like how to speak, how to interact with others, volunteering, or even taking on a part-time job.<\/p>\n
When your teenager is in the process of developing his self-identity, he or she may want to know many things, like why there are so many problems in the world. He may also ask silent questions like: Who am I? What is this life all about? Why was I created? This may create tension within the home that leads to arguments. As a parent, you should be addressing these concerns that crop up in their minds through general discussions.<\/p>\n
They may also at this age develop the ability of abstraction, imagination and conceptualising. Your teen can now anticipate problems and devise solutions. Questions about life and death and the Hereafter also crop up when your child enters his or her teens, and this is the time to build the blocks on the foundation of their aqeeda, teaching them proper beliefs. A sense of religiosity and piety is also developed in adolescence \u2013 \u201cthe era of religious awakening.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teenagers have the capacity to daydream and fantasize, an important way of expressing their wishes to themselves, and a characteristic of mental growth. This is perfectly normal, as long as it is not excessive or overdone in their private or public life. They \u201cimagine life according to their thoughts,\u201d and this will lead to them criticising others, starting with their parents and then extending that criticism to family, friends, society, the country, the government and the rest of world. The teen years, when a young adult lacks experience, are an idealistic time. This can cause teenagers to reject the authority of their parents and other authorities, especially when their own idealistic solutions to problems are rejected.<\/p>\n
There are certain preventative measures, according to Islam, that you can teach your teenager:<\/p>\n
When you teenager becomes more stable between the ages of 16 and 19, he or she will have a strong foundation from which they will be able to positively influence their peers instead of themselves being wrongly influenced. And the transition from adolescence to adulthood, although not easy, will certainly be a smoother one.<\/p>\n