![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/teen-6.jpg?resize=300%2C200&ssl=1\")
<\/p>\nRabia Mayet | rabiamayet@radioislam.co.za<\/p>\n
13 May 2026<\/p>\n
5-minute read<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Hajj for families is an emotional journey steeped in excitement and spirituality, alongside sadness and separation. While physical and spiritual preparation is essential, emotional preparation at leaving children behind should not be left by the wayside.<\/p>\n
Zaheera Badat is a counselling therapist and mentions that kids whose parents are departing for hajj experience an array of emotions from pride and joy for their parents to sadness, anxiety and worry for themselves. Many caregivers focus on the needs of the younger children who are left behind, but she says that it is just as important to help older children feel special while their parents are on hajj.<\/p>\n
Some children do vocalise their feelings, but most choose to display it. While younger kids may struggle with the timeline for hajj and openly display missing their parents, older children are fully cognisant of the time their parents will be away, and may react like typical teenagers by acting moody, withdrawn or irritable. Some may even act completely unaffected, but that does not mean that they do not need to be reassured by their caregivers.<\/p>\n
Zaheera also says that it is important to understand the dynamic between siblings before passing on responsibility. While some older children may feel responsible for their younger siblings and do everything they can to help \u201clook after\u201d them and lessen the responsibility of the caregivers, others may feel burdened by the task and shirk that responsibility completely.<\/p>\n
As a caregiver, there are certain Irregular behaviours to look out for that indicate a child is struggling with separation and is emotionally overwhelmed:<\/p>\n
Caregivers cannot offer the parenting experience to kids whose parents are away on hajj, Zaheera states. However, they can \u201coffer consistency and emotional steadying.\u201d<\/p>\n
Children who have a structure and routine in place are at an advantage because routine creates \u201cmuch-needed predictability.\u201d Grandparents or other family members tend to overcompensate at this time, but if the children in their care have a structure in place, it gives grandparents the comfort of getting predictable responses from the children and understanding how they are processing their emotions.<\/p>\n
Parents are utterly grateful to caregivers, but at the same time, they have expectations in place. However, if caregivers are unaware of schedules like homework and exams, or if they\u2019re very lax about such things, children may take advantage and lie about needing to get work done or study, thus putting grandparents at a disadvantage and causing resentment when parents\u2019 expectations are not fulfilled.<\/p>\n
Caregivers should accept crying as an emotional relief instead of the child acting out or throwing a tantrum. Children feel calmer when their emotions are acknowledged and when they are reassured.<\/p>\n
While away on hajj, parents can still maintain the emotional connection in a balanced manner with their kids. Parents themselves are trying to carry out all the acts of hajj, and at the same time feeling deep guilt, and an ache and longing, as they worry about how their children are coping psychologically and emotionally. With such advanced technology, parents can connect with their children at any given time. Value and connection, as well as constant reassurance, should not be underestimated. Regular check-ins during the day help children feel valued, but some children do not want such regular contact with their absent parents.<\/p>\n
So, while this may be a very trying time both for the parents who are on hajj and the children who are left behind at home, it does not have to break the bond between parent and teen, especially. Each child\u2019s emotional needs are different, so parents should assess and respond to each on his or her individual level.<\/p>\n