{"id":74228,"date":"2022-12-06T09:00:21","date_gmt":"2022-12-06T07:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/?p=74228"},"modified":"2022-12-05T12:25:57","modified_gmt":"2022-12-05T10:25:57","slug":"exam-results-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/exam-results-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Exam Results"},"content":{"rendered":"

How Should a Parent Respond?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Children can\u2019t wait to celebrate the end of the exams, but their joy is often tempered by fear\u2014what if they perform badly? Parents, on the other hand, may find that their relief at the exam\u2019s end is swiftly replaced by anxiety, if their children\u2019s results are not up to par.<\/p>\n

How can parents respond to their children\u2019s results in a way that is positive, loving, and encouraging?<\/p>\n

Here are some suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n

# Remember: Exams belong in the past<\/strong><\/p>\n

For many children, stress does not end when a test or exam is completed, for the result is a source of stress too. Parents should begin the process of dealing with the results by accepting that things are done, and cannot be undone\u2014don\u2019t bring up what children could have done differently.<\/p>\n

# Sit across your child when discussing results<\/strong><\/p>\n

Avoid asking children about their scores when driving or walking beside them. This is a sensitive conversation, and you should have it while looking at your child\u2014eye contact is important, and you\u2019ll be able to pick up signs of stress if they are present, such as:<\/p>\n

\u00b7 ears turning red
\n\u00b7 paleness
\n\u00b7 increased sweating
\n\u00b7 crying
\n\u00b7 fidgeting
\n\u00b7 hair tugging
\n\u00b7 nail biting
\n\u00b7 sitting at the edge of the seat<\/p>\n

# Don\u2019t discuss next steps on results day<\/strong><\/p>\n

When children receive their exam results, they may feel disappointed because of their personal expectations. Or, they may be satisfied with their grades, but worried about shouldering the burden of their parents\u2019 disappointment.<\/p>\n

You can ask your child, \u201cHow are you?\u201d and see if he is willing to open up to you. Alternatively, say to your child, \u201cLet\u2019s take today off to rest. What would you like to do?\u201d What you\u2019re really saying is that you\u2019re accepting and available to bond. It also signals a willingness to put the exams and the results behind you.<\/p>\n

# Your child doesn\u2019t need a problem fixer<\/strong><\/p>\n

When we present solutions to our children, we take the power out of their hands. If your child is unhappy about her grades, say, \u201cI can see you are upset, this has taken a lot out of you. Today, we\u2019ll go out and have a relaxing time. When you feel rested and ready, we\u2019ll discuss what you want to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re having the discussion, ask, \u201cDo you need help?\u201d If your child already has tutors, ask if the tutors have been helpful. Children need to know that they have choices in life, and we take away their sense of responsibility when we swoop in to rescue them with a ready plan. If they should falter again in future, they will feel lost and helpless.<\/p>\n

# Inspect the exam papers when your child is not present<\/strong><\/p>\n

Try to do this after your child has gone to bed. Many children associate poor or less-than-satisfactory grades with failure, but the message to your child should be this: Exams show what concepts one has learned, remembered, and applied\u2014they don\u2019t represent a person\u2019s abilities or potential.<\/p>\n

As you examine your child\u2019s papers on the quiet, take note of the questions he\u2019s answered incorrectly, and find similar questions for him to attempt once he\u2019s rested and ready to learn again. Don\u2019t let your child know you\u2019ve selected questions he missed during the exam\u2014letting him solve problems in a relaxed environment will give you a more accurate indication of his abilities. If he manages to answer some or most of the questions correctly, you can use this as a teachable moment to show that people are prone to making mistakes when under pressure, which is why exams are not a true reflection of one\u2019s abilities.<\/strong><\/p>\n

# Respect the purpose of the school holidays<\/strong><\/p>\n

The June and December holidays should be sacred, at least for the first two weeks. Children are already dealing with insecurity about their abilities, and the prospect of seeing their holidays disappear\u2014on account of private coaching or remedial classes\u2014will not make them feel better. They need rest to recharge and play, before they can be ready for learning again.<\/p>\n

# Remind children that exams don\u2019t define them<\/strong><\/p>\n

Children are often made to feel that everything is cast in stone\u2014that they only get one chance at a certain exam, for instance\u2014and they feel trapped as a result. Parents need to remind their children that exams, even university exams, don\u2019t define a person\u2019s worth. There is always time for growth. Time is a resource, and if we value it, it can be empowering. But if we\u2019re constantly running a race against time, we\u2019re only playing catch up. Children should feel that they have plenty of time on their hands; this sense of freedom will help them to accomplish more in their lives.<\/p>\n

# Speak with your child\u2019s teachers<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re entrusting your child\u2019s learning to schoolteachers and external tutors, and your child doesn\u2019t seem to be benefitting, hold the teachers accountable. Questions to consider: Can your child cope with the pace of learning in class, or during tutoring sessions? Does the teacher register that your child isn\u2019t able to grasp concepts via their teaching methods? Children\u2019s mistakes often have patterns\u2014what are your child\u2019s patterns? Are there other reasons (e.g. school bullies, inadequate sleep, illness, poor nutrition) that may have affected your child\u2019s learning?<\/p>\n

# Choose quality over quantity<\/strong><\/p>\n

When it comes to homework, let the emphasis be on completing an assignment well. Speak to teachers and tutors if you feel they\u2019re overloading your children with homework, and find out what the purpose of the assignments are. Also, be mindful that children can\u2019t concentrate for long stretches at a time. Consider scheduling 30-minute work sessions with 10-minute breaks, and set limits on work\u2014no more than four to five hours of work a day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How Should a Parent Respond? Children can\u2019t wait to celebrate the end of the exams, but their joy is often tempered by fear\u2014what if they perform badly? Parents, on the other hand, may find that their relief at the exam\u2019s end is swiftly replaced by anxiety, if their children\u2019s results are not up to par. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":74215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[43],"tags":[5476],"class_list":["post-74228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-special-feature","tag-special-feature"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Exam-results.jpg?fit=253%2C176&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pc0QIf-jje","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-04-14 00:10:41","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=74228"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74228\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/74215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=74228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=74228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radioislam.org.za\/a\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=74228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}