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Family – Part 11

Family Ties โ€“ an Amazing Example

So last week we took a look at maintaining family ties, the benefits of it, as well as the harms of neglecting it or breaking it.
His week we are going to start off by taking a look at an amazing example of family ties in the life of a very great Sahabi RA.
Silatur-rahim has been defined as politeness, kind treatment, and concern for all oneโ€™s relatives even if distantly related, corrupt, non-Muslim, or unappreciative.

Hadhrat Aishah RA reports:
“โ€ุงู„ุฑุญู… ู…ุนู„ู‚ุฉ ุจุงู„ุนุฑุด ุชู‚ูˆู„โ€:โ€ ู…ู† ูˆุตู„ู†ูŠุŒ ูˆุตู„ู‡ ุงู„ู„ู‡ุŒ ูˆู…ู† ู‚ุทุนู†ูŠุŒ ู‚ุทุนู‡ ุงู„ู„ู‡โ€”โ€ โ€(โ€โ€(โ€ู…ุชูู‚ ุนู„ูŠู‡โ€)โ€โ€)
โ€œThe Messenger of Allah ๏ทบ said, โ€œThe bond of relationship is suspending from the Throne, and says: โ€˜He who keeps good relations with me, Allah will keep connection with him, but whosoever severs relations with me, Allah will sever connection with himโ€™.โ€ [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

While nearly every religion has emphasized good family relations, Islam has taken it to unprecedented heights.
It is a duty to be discharged without an eye for reciprocity. A Muslim is required to be kind even to his non-Muslim relatives. Similarly he is required to be kind to even those relatives who are harsh to him.

The most telling example in this regard is that of Sayyidana Abu Bakr RA. Among the many people who benefited from his generosity was a relative Mistah RA. The latter, unfortunately became involved in the scandal related to the Mother of Believers, Ayesha RA. It was a whole month of torment and torture for all involved, after which verses of Surah Noor were revealed exonerating her and prescribing punishment for those involved in the false accusation. Feeling hurt and betrayed, Sayyidna Abu Bakr RA vowed never to help Mistah RA again. Yet the Holy Qurโ€™an asked him to forget and forgive and continue helping his relative, which he did.

Another amazing example of how Islam demands good treatment of family is found in the daughter of Hadhrat Abu Bakr RA, Asma RA.
Asma RAโ€™s mother Qutailah once came to visit her in Madinah and brought gifts (dates etc) for her daughter. Asma RA did not allow her mother to enter the house or accept the gifts until she had consulted with the Messenger of Allah ๏ทบ whether it was correct for her to show hospitality to her mother (who was not Muslim).

ุนูŽู†ู’ ุฃูŽุณู’ู…ูŽุงุกูŽ ุจูู†ู’ุชู ุฃูŽุจููŠ ุจูŽูƒู’ุฑู ู€ ุฑุถู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุนู†ู‡ู…ุง ู€ ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽุชู’ ู‚ูŽุฏูู…ูŽุชู’ ุนูŽู„ูŽู‰ู‘ูŽ ุฃูู…ู‘ููŠ ูˆูŽู‡ู’ู‰ูŽ ู…ูุดู’ุฑููƒูŽุฉูŒุŒ ูููŠ ุนูŽู‡ู’ุฏู ุฑูŽุณููˆู„ู ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ุตู„ู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ูˆุณู„ู…ุŒ ููŽุงุณู’ุชูŽูู’ุชูŽูŠู’ุชู ุฑูŽุณููˆู„ูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ุตู„ู‰ ุงู„ู„ู‡ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ูˆุณู„ู… ู‚ูู„ู’ุชู โ€{โ€ุฅูู†ู‘ูŽ ุฃูู…ู‘ููŠ ู‚ูŽุฏูู…ูŽุชู’โ€}โ€ ูˆูŽู‡ู’ู‰ูŽ ุฑูŽุงุบูุจูŽุฉูŒุŒ ุฃูŽููŽุฃูŽุตูู„ู ุฃูู…ู‘ููŠ ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽ ู†ูŽุนูŽู…ู’ ุตูู„ููŠ ุฃูู…ู‘ูŽูƒู

โ€Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr RA:

My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger ๏ทบ and she was a pagan. I said to Allah’s Apostle (seeking his verdict), “My mother has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her?” The Prophet (๏ทบ) said, “Yes, keep good relation with her.” [Bukhari 2620]

Is there any another society that can even come close to this standard in maintaining family ties?
Islam came to set all our relationships right. This includes our relations with Allah as well as with other human beings. Silat-ur-Rahim is a very important part of the latter.

Today, unfortunately, these teachings can mostly be found in Muslim societies in their violation. The best we do today is reciprocate; more commonly we backbite, cheat, and hurt our relatives and continue the spiral of hurt and humiliation as they respond. And we just abandon those of our relatives who are economically unfortunate.

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