Family Disputes
I am sure we all can’t help but reflect on how we’d all wish to have the perfect family: every member of the family being Allah-conscious, parents fulfilling the rights of their children and vice-versa, harmony between siblings, a marriage with very few conflicts and loads of happy moments, and delightfully obedient children. Indeed, it is extremely difficult to even think that such a family exists on this planet, yet it cannot be denied that there are some families whose happiness radiates wherever they may be; they have strong connections of love and affection. May Allah preserve such families and bless others with the inspiration to become like them. The truth is, however, that most of us have conflict and strife within our families; with our parents, siblings, cousins, spouses, children, in-laws, etc. Some of this conflict is minor, while some of it has left stains of trauma and wreaked havoc in the lives of so many.

However, our beautiful Deen and the honoured Sunnah always has solutions and one can certainly gain a lot of stability and contentment, in the realization of three important things:

1.Every family has their issues.
2.Pure happiness and contentment with one another is reserved for Paradise, and not the life of this world.
3.Even within our own Islamic tradition, we find countless examples of great people who dealt with tons of issues.
Consider the following examples:

Parent Issues
•Ibrahim AS, the great man that he was, was threatened by his own father when he preached to him the message of Islam. Not only did his community deny him, but his own father did too. Imagine the pain.

Sibling/Child Issues
•Qabil grew jealous of his brother Habil and eventually slew him. These were the first sons of our common ancestor, Adam AS. Imagine the turmoil of murder within a family, and the loss of a child for Adam and Hawa AS.
•The brothers of Yusuf AS conspired to get rid of him completely. For years, his father Ya’qoob AS grieved the loss of his son, and upon his eventual return, Yusuf AS`s brothers were filled with regret for what they had done. Imagine a grief that causes you blindness, as it did to Ya’qoob AS. Not only that, but Yusuf AS was from a line of prophets (Yusuf son of Ya’qoob son of Ishaaq son of Ibrahim AS) and was still not immune to such a trial.

Spousal Issues
•Both Ibrahim AS and his wife Sara, along with Zakariyya AS and his wife had trouble conceiving a child. As well, Aasiya RA the wife of the greatest tyrant Fir’awn brought Musa AS into her home after not being able to have her own child.
•Maryam RA brought Isa AS into this world alone and with no communal and spousal support. Imagine how we treat such mothers today.
•Both Lut AS and Nuh AS were betrayed and left unsupported by their wives. They were prophets and still, they had issues in their marriages.

Our Greatest Example
•The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lost his beloved parents, his father before he was born and his mother not long thereafter, and then his grandfather, Abdul Mutallib, and then even his uncle Abu Taalib to who he was very dear and who proved to be one of his greatest supporters.
•He lost many of his children as infants, children and adults.
•He lost his dearly beloved wife, Khadijah RA, and mourned her death deeply.

These are just a tiny fraction of the examples of family matters which we can draw from our own Islamic tradition. Indeed, what is even more incredible is that those mentioned above were far more pious and sincere to Allah than we could ever be, despite their hardships.

Notice that their piety did not mean a life of ease and perfection – no! Instead they were tried with things that today, might bring you and I to our knees. Because Allah tells us that He does not burden a soul with more than they can bear. By testing them with such trials, the Almighty knew that they were capable of coming out purified.

Now, what about you and me?
Remember family issues are inevitable. Don’t look to the lives of others to escape your own problems – realize that Allah has placed you in the circumstance you are in because He, in His supreme knowledge, knows you can handle it.

The choice is ours – let’s figure this stuff out!