If You Miss Your Goal, you didn’t fail. You’re your own experiment, so here’s what to try on your second, third or 20th attempt.

First and foremost: If you fail at your resolution attempt, don’t beat yourself up, and know you’re not alone. Experts in the field explain that we all struggle to do the things that we know are good for us because we give into impulses for instant gratification.

Here are some tips you want to keep in mind:

Feel Free to Start Fresh

Want to try again? Remember, a resolution doesn’t need to be tied to New Year’s. It can be following a weekend, following a birthday or any event or occurrence that motivates and encourages you to bring about some change. So if you missed your New Year’s goal, you can start again tomorrow, on a Monday, next week or any marker that means something to you, just as long as you’re ready to give it another go. It won’t guarantee success, but you don’t need to wait until another year comes around on the calendar to give it another go.

Don’t be too Hard on Yourself

And be kind to yourself. We talk in much harsher tones to ourselves than we would to other people. We wouldn’t say to a kid trying to learn something ‘that’s so stupid’ but that’s how we talk to ourselves.

When resolutions run off the rails or fall apart but you still want to try again, talk to yourself like “a child who`s feeling discouraged. You wouldn’t say ‘that’s because you’re an idiot.’ You would say ‘come on you can do it.’”

Experts offer a few more common self-put downs, and ways to flip the script:

· Instead of “I blew it. What’s the point now?”

…say, “That was a bad decision, but a good learning opportunity. What’s my next step?”

· Instead of, “I’m SO hungry!”

…say, “I’m hungry, which means its working! It’s a bit uncomfortable, but I’ve gotten through worse.”

· Instead of, “My legs are SO sore. I can’t possibly work out today”

…say, “Let’s give my leg muscles a rest today. What can I do to work my arms?”

or: “Of course my muscles are sore. They’re supposed to be. It will get easier.”

· Instead of, “This is too hard!”

…say, “Making it through today is going to really build my confidence.”