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Love for his Wives – Part 12

For this week we will take a look at the Love which the Prophet ﷺ displayed as far as his physical relationships were concerned.

With all the Prophet ﷺ’s duties, one would assume that he didn’t have the time or capacity to be attentive to his wives. On the contrary, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ proved us wrong.

وعن أنس رضي الله عنه قال‏:‏ جاء ثلاثة رهط إلى بيوت أزواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، يسألون عن عبادة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم، فلما أخبروا كأنهم تقالوها وقالوا‏:‏ أين نحن من النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قد غفر الله له تقدم من ذنبه وما تأخر‏.‏ قال أحدهم‏:‏ أما أنا فأصلي الليل أبداً وقال الآخر‏:‏ وأنا أصوم الدهر أبداً ولا أفطر، وقال الآخر‏:‏ وأنا أعتزل النساء فلا أتزوج أبداً، فجاء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إليهم فقال‏:‏ ‏ “‏أنتم الذين قلتم كذا وكذا‏؟‏‏!‏ أما والله إني لأخشاكم لله وأتقاكم له لكني أصوم وأفطر، وأصلي وأرقد، وأتزوج النساء، فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني‏

Hadhrat Anas RA reported: Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (ﷺ). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: “Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (ﷺ) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins”. One of them said: “As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long.” Another said: “I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it”. Another said: “I shall abstain from women and shall never marry”. The Prophet (ﷺ) came to them and said, “Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me”. [Bukhari and Muslim].

So the Prophet ﷺ was most dutiful to Allah but this didn`t make him neglect his duties and responsibilities to his wives

لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا

“You have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful example [of conduct] for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day, and remembers Allah much.” [Ahzab 33: 21)].

We will take a look at five ways the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) expressed his love for his wives.

Kind acts with wives

The Prophet ﷺ used this way to appreciate his wives by helping out & doing house tasks without being asked. When he was not engaged in preaching or the governance & guidance of the community, he would spend some time at home with his wives.

Al-Aswad reported that he asked Ayesha RA, “What did the Prophet ﷺ do at home?” She said: “He used to be at the service of his family, and when it was time for prayer, he would go out to pray” (Bukhari).

In another narration, Ayesha RA is also reported to have said: “He acted like other men. He would mend his clothes, milk his goat, and serve himself.” [Ahmad and Bukhari].

Commitments with wives

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah RA reported: The Prophet ﷺ said, “It is also charity to utter a good word.”

He used to express his love for his wives in unique ways. Ayesha RA would often ask the Prophet ﷺ, “How is your love for me?” The Prophet ﷺ would reply, “Like the rope’s knot.” (Meaning that it was solid and secure). She would often ask after that, “How is that knot?” and he would reply, “The same as ever.” [Reported in Hiya al Awliya].

In addition, the Prophet ﷺ trusted and consulted his wives in essential matters. Like when he consulted Umme Salamah RA upon signing the Hudaibiya treaty.

Husband-wife relation

The Prophet (PBUH) expressed his love to his wives using various affectionate gestures.

Before entering his home, the Prophet ﷺ used Miswak to freshen his breath.

Often, the Prophet ﷺ laid his head on the lap of Ayesha RA reciting Quran, while she was on her menses. In addition, the Prophet ﷺ would also console his wives in public when they were upset. Safiyyah Bint Huyyiy RA narrated: “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ went to Hajj with his wives. On the way, my camel knelt as it was the weakest among all the other camels, and so I wept. The Prophet ﷺ came to me and wiped away my tears with his robe and hands. The more he asked me not to weep, the more I went on weeping” [Ahmad]. The Prophet ﷺ did not get embarrassed, angry, or impatient. He just reassured her and compassionately wiped away her tears.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was distinctly kind and considerate to his wives in public. Hadhrat Anas ibn Malik RA narrates: “I saw the Prophet ﷺ making for her [Safiyyah RA] a kind of cushion with his cloak behind him [on his camel]. He then sat beside his camel and put his knee for Safiyyah RA to put her foot on, to ride [on the camel]” [Bukhari].

Spent Quality time with wives

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at both of them with mercy. [Bukhari]

During one expedition with the Muslim army, the Prophet ﷺ asked them to move ahead while he and his wife trailed behind to spend quality time together. Ayesha RA reports that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ told her: “Come, I will race you.” She continues, “So I raced with him, and I won. After I became heavier, he raced me, and he won. So he laughed and said this one for that one” [Abu Dawood].

Gifts for wives

Hadhrat Abu Hurayra RA reported that the Prophet ﷺ out of his pure love for his late wife, Khadijah RA, whenever the Prophet ﷺ slaughtered a sheep, he sent a share to her friends, long after she passed. So how much more if she was alive?

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