The Mind-Set

Mind-set Shift: Control how you think and you’ll control how you act

One little thought can change everything inside you.  Work on your mind and your mind will work on everything else for you.

Here are some healthy ways to think in your post-Ramadhan situation:

1. Be grateful for whatever you were able to accomplish in Ramadhan.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “(The value of) an action depends on the intention behind it. A man will be rewarded only for what he intended.” [Muslim]

Maybe you tried really hard to make the best use of every second in Ramadhan but your efforts fell short and you weren’t able to accomplish your goals. Or maybe you didn’t try too hard.

Either way, be grateful for whatever you DID manage to accomplish.

Know that it’s not our efforts and deeds that will take us to Jannah. It’s the Mercy of Allah ﷻ. Whatever time, health and energy you were blessed with to do Ibadah in Ramadhan – it was because of the Mercy of Allah ﷻ. Some people could not even fast because of their health. Others had to work too hard for a living that they did not have the luxury of free time to do Ibadah with khushoo. Be grateful for what you were able to accomplish. Alhamdulillah.

And know that if, for some reason, you weren’t able to fully accomplish your goals but you intended to, you’re good. Your intentions were duly noted.

2. Keep a check on your expectations.

Now that Ramadhan is over, maybe you’ve started sinning more often. You see others sin more often. You lose control over your Nafs quicker.

You miss the meal times of Ramadhan. You miss the nights spent in Ibadah. You miss the feeling of praying Taraweeh in congregation in the Masjid.

You have started to lose the amazing habits you developed in Ramadhan. You find it much harder to stay consistent in Ibadah and self-development goals.

You, my friend, have made room for post-Ramadan depression to settle in.

And possibly the biggest reason for post-Ramadan depression is setting unrealistic and disproportionate expectations. From yourself. From others. From your environment.

You need to set realistic goals and expectations. Or else you’re bound to suffer from depression that will not only eat away at you from inside but also keep you from continuing your good habits from Ramadhan!

Think of your life as a battle field and Ramadhan as your training period. No matter how hard you practiced in the training field, you are bound to face some REAL challenges in the battle field that you didn’t face in the “safe” zone of training. A fighter thinks that nothing could be harder than the training period he’s going through. Until he enters the battle ground.

Keep a check on your expectations or else you’ll be taking 10 steps backwards instead of moving forwards.

3. All-Or-None Thinking Helps NONE.

Ramadhan ends, you commit a sin that you had managed to stay away from in Ramadhan – you say to yourself “What’s the point? I tried so hard but I did it again. I’m not even going to try now!”

All it takes for you is a SINGLE fall to go back to step zero. And from that point, moving forward gets overtly difficult for you.

For example, you try to continue the habit of reading Quran after Ramadhan. You skip reading it once or twice for some reason and then wonder “What’s the point of trying if I’m not reading it every day? I might as well not bother with it right now. I’ll come back to it when I can make time to read Quran every day.”

Islam is NOT All-or-None. That’s not how it works in our Deen. We are not the people of either do EVERYTHING or do NOTHING. That’s Shaytaan! His oldest trick in the book is to convince you to drop everything on the first mistake. (I don’t wear hijab… might as well not bother praying as my prayers won’t be accepted. I’ll do “everything” later.) This All-or-None thinking is not helping ANYONE.

You have some really bad habits? Don’t leave your good ones because of them!

You made a mistake? Get up. Keep working on your discipline.

You skipped reading Quran once? Don’t let that one-time slip make you drop your efforts altogether

“All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent often.” [At·Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah]

Don’t let your present sins define your next move. Don’t let your slip-ups keep you from moving forward.

Because what’s the alternative? You go back to step zero, do NOTHING for now… and then what?

Do you seriously believe there will come a time when you’ll NEVER slip up? Or that you’ll be a 100% consistent in your habits? If you do, you’re being naïve.

Shaytaan will never give up on trying to sway you. And Allah ﷻ will never give up on being Merciful towards you. So hang on to the Mercy of Allah ﷻ.

If you go back to step zero – know that it will be MANY times harder for you to come back to where you are now. And you will want to come back at some point.