As part of Women’s Week on Radio Islam International, on this programme we will be looking at issues that the husband needs to understand in order to treat his wife well. These are issues that are related to the private lives of the couple, issues that are relevant when the couple are involved in a private discussion at home.

Don’t be ignorant of female biology
Learn about it – from menstruation to pregnancy and everything else. You need to know this stuff – it will impact your life significantly, intimately and otherwise. Don’t laugh it off or act as though it’s not worth your time and attention. Women’s health is sorely misunderstood, and having a disinterested (or worse, disgusted) husband can make things even more difficult for women.

Nabi S.A.W. did not shy away from these matters, either as a husband or as a Messenger of Allah. Instead, he constantly enjoined men to be aware of and sensitive to their wives’ needs – just as he was with his wives.

عَنْ أَبِي سَلَمَةَ، أَنَّ زَيْنَبَ ابْنَةَ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، حَدَّثَتْهُ أَنَّ أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ حَدَّثَتْهَا قَالَتْ، بَيْنَا أَنَا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ، صلى الله عليه وسلم مُضْطَجِعَةً فِي خَمِيصَةٍ إِذْ حِضْتُ، فَانْسَلَلْتُ فَأَخَذْتُ ثِيَابَ حِيضَتِي قَالَ ‏ “‏ أَنُفِسْتِ ‏”‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ فَدَعَانِي فَاضْطَجَعْتُ مَعَهُ فِي الْخَمِيلَةِ
Narrated by Umm Salamah R.A.: While I was laying with the Prophet (ﷺ) under a single woolen sheet, I got the menses. I slipped away and put on the clothes for menses. He said, “Have you got “Nifas” (menses)?” I replied, “Yes.” He then called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet. (Bukhari)

Be responsible
Being “a good Muslim husband” doesn’t just mean fulfilling the basic rights as a husband and leaving it at that. Being a good Muslim husband means that you are on the ball as a responsible adult – whether it’s paying the bills, taking out the trash, cleaning a mess in the house, or being an engaged father (not ‘babysitting’). Doing these things is not a “kindness to the wife,” or “helping out at home.” It’s not “extra credit” and deserving of lavish praise. It is part and parcel of being a grown man responsible for his surroundings, his family, and himself.

Narrated Al-Aswad: I asked Âishah R.A. what did Nabi S.A.W. do at home. She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer.” (Bukhâri)

Âishah R.A. reported: I was asked, “What did the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, do in his house?” I said, “The Prophet was a man among men. He would remove fleas from his clothes, milk his sheep, and serve himself.” (Musnad Ahmad)

These narrations show us that Nabi S.A.W. did not just fulfil the basic rights, but went a step further in engaging himself in household chores. As a Nabi, it would have been very easy for him to secure the services of the Sahaaba R.A. to do these chores. They eagerly awaited an opportunity to serve him. However, Nabi S.A.W. done all this himself. One reason for this is that he (S.A.W.) wanted to show his Ummah the manner in which a husband should conduct himself.