Rabia Mayet | rabiamayet@radioislam.co.za

28 August 2025

5-minute read

Allah SWT says in the Quran “Verily the husbands are a garment unto their wives, and wives are a garment unto their husband.”

This beautiful metaphor of adorning oneself with clothing and likening it to the way your spouse should adorn you encompasses the essence of a marital relationship. Your marriage is like your clothing; the way your clothes adorn you, similarly your marriage should adorn you. The way you display your clothes with pride, your marriage should also be displayed with pride. Clothing provides warmth and coolness dependent on the changes of the seasons. So too, a husband or wife is supposed to provide warmth or coolness when the other partner needs it, maintaining a consistent temperature when needed. A garment protects one from the vagaries of the weather as nikah protects one from outside influences, in effect protecting both spouses from going outside the bounds of the nikah. Your garment is closest to you – in a similar manner, husband and wife are meant to be closest to each other. A garment covers those parts which are not meant to be seen by others, in the same way, husband and wife are meant to conceal each other’s faults.

“The idea of maintaining a healthy marriage is not new to Islam,” said Ml Bham. One of the things we learn from the life of the Holy Prophet SAW is to make accommodation for the temperament of one’s spouse. Nabi SAW, the perfect example, the ideal spouse, dealt with his marital life on every platform, in accordance with his SAW’s famous statement: “The best amongst you are those who are good to their wives.” Nabi SAW treated each of his wives according to their temperament. Rasulullah SAW showed consideration to the maturity of Khadija RA; accepted the sensitivity of Umm Salamah RA; indulged the youthfulness and enthusiasm of Aisha RA; acknowledged the lineage of Zainab binte Jahsh RA by making the best walimah for her; and even made exception for the forthright nature of Hafsah RA.

Other lessons to learn from the life of Nabi SAW is to make mashwara with one’s spouse, share incidents and occurrences, and hear one another out; listening to each other’s challenges and difficulties. Khadija RA was Nabi SAW’s first point of call when he received the first wahi. On a later occasion, Rasulullah SAW went to Umm Salamah RA for advice at the refusal of entry into Makkah. Nabi SAW was attuned to the emotions of Aisha RA and deciphered her mood by her words. When she was happy with Nabi SAW she would say “By the Rabb of Muhammad (SAW)” and when she was not happy, she would say: “By the Rabb of Ibrahim (AS)”.

Ml Bham mentioned to “season your conversations with humour to the extent that you season your food with salt.” Light-hearted moments and playfulness between a couple is an essential ingredient for a successful marriage. On an occasion when Abu Bakr RA heard his daughter Aisha RA speaking in a loud voice to Nabi SAW, he tried to rebuke her. Nabi SAW himself stood in front of Abu Bakr RA to stop him.

In his own home, Nabi SAW would take part in the chores and showed concern for his wives. When Safiyya RA’s camel took ill and she was worried that she would not be able to continue the journey, he wiped her tears. On another occasion, when her back was hurting, Rasulullah SAW made a backrest for her with his shawl.

In Madinah, Nabi SAW would visit his wives every day after asr to spend time with each one individually. Nabi SAW also dealt with the natural friction between his wives in a calm manner. On one occasion, Zainab RA, knowing Nabi SAW’s love for honey, presented him some to keep him at her home for an extended period. On entering the house of Aisha RA, Aisha RA was upset at Nabi SAW spending more time with Zainab RA and commented that a bad smell was coming from his mouth. Safiyya RA was comforted by Nabi SAW when the other wives commented that she was not as loved by the Prophet of Allah as they were due to her being from a Jewish family.

Rasulullah SAW was also never shy to express his love for his wives directly to them. He would drink from the glass exactly where Aisha RA drank from it, would allow her to oil his hair, and would often rest on her lap. Nabi SAW was also not shy to express his love for his wives in front of others, as was the case when he refused to accept an invitation where Aisha RA was not included. He would also listen to poetry from his wives.

Emulating our beloved Habib Muhammad SAW in being supportive, caring, humble and understanding towards each other will lead to a blissful marriage.

Listen to the full dicussion with Ml Ibrahim Daya and Ml Ebrahim Bham here.