Now that we have a sense of friendship in general, let’s consider a few possible qualities of a good friend.  Here are some possible ways to know that you have a true friend and a quality, healthy friendship:

1. They provide emotional support

A good friend is often someone who will be there for you consistently, whether that is through simple words or grand gestures. A good friend likely won’t desert you because you are having a hard time or experiencing sadness. Good friends often recognize that life can present significant challenges, and they will be there for you when that happens. A good friend stays by your side, and a real friendship goes through these trials and remains strong.

2. A friend listens to you

A good friend is often someone you can be vulnerable and open with. They are often someone you feel comfortable talking honestly with because you know they are genuinely listening and care about what you have to say.

3. You feel good when you’re around them

A good friend is typically someone whom you enjoy spending time with, and they may also increase your self-esteem when you’re around them. With a good friend, you may laugh, have fun, feel connected, and generally enjoy each other’s company. Rather than worrying about being judged, you can often feel comfortable and confident when you are around good friends.

4. They are empathetic toward you

A good friend is often empathetic to your struggles or what you’re experiencing and shows that they care. A good friend will often try to understand who you are, as well as your perspectives and give you space to express your feelings. A good friend typically won’t be judgmental or dismissive.

5. They can apologize and forgive

In a long-term friendship, there are likely to be some arguments at times. Good friends typically recognize this reality and are able to both apologize and forgive, within reason of course. Good friends can forgive each other and continue nurturing a positive friendship.

Not all friendships are healthy

If you’ve been questioning your friendship with someone, there are a few signs that someone may not be a good friend to you. Here are a few signs to consider:

1. They are only around when they need something

Some friends may only want to spend time with you when they need something. When you’ve given them what they need, they may stop acting like a friend. Friends can help each other, but if the help is one-sided or if the friend is only around when they want something from you, this may be a sign that you’re being used.

2. They frequently bad-mouth other friends

If your friends are frequently voicing negative opinions about their other friends to you, then you may consider that they could be saying bad things about you to their friends. If this friend is always speaking badly about others, they may not be someone you can trust.

3. They don’t tolerate differences

Friends often have some differences, be it hobbies, interests, outlooks on life, or beliefs. Good friends can typically understand these differences and accept you for who you are. However, if someone seems to frequently be dismissive, judgmental, or demeaning of you for what you believe, they may not be a good friend to have in your life.

4. They are often flaky

A flaky friend can be difficult to accommodate. If you’re the one who is always making plans and they’re frequently making excuses or not showing up, you may wonder if they care about the friendship. However, there can be legitimate reasons for this behaviour, such as if a person has social anxiety, so it may be best to try to talk with this friend to gain an understanding of what might be going on.

5. They are pushy and not understanding

If a person is pressuring you to do things with which you don’t feel comfortable, such as attending a certain party or trying certain things, they may not be a good friend. A good friend should respect your boundaries. Additionally, if you have obligations, such as work, school, or family, and your friend gets angry whenever you’re busy, then this can be a sign of a less-than-healthy relationship.

Many friends may have a problem or two at times, and these signs are not automatic indications of a bad friend. However, if you are questioning the quality of the friendship, considering some of these signs may be useful. Oftentimes, having a conversation with your friend about your concerns can be helpful.