Rabia Mayet | rabiamayet@radioislam.co.za

21 January 2025

5-minute read

Every January starts the year with new goals and fresh motivation, but for many, those goals remain unfulfilled and the motivation fades.

So, how do we stay grounded, consistent and inspired to move through the challenges, without the excitement waning?

Trauma healing coach Bibi Ayesha Hoosen says that she was motivated to start being consistent with her goals 13 years ago when she was diagnosed with lupus, an auto-immune condition that had no cure but only management of the disease. She began to understand the effects of stress on the body and delved deeper into how emotional healing can regulate the nervous system, and this led her to help people in similar situations.

“Motivation has to come from a specific mindset,” Bibi Ayesha states, and the beginning of the years brings with it “fresh intention and excitement,” with most people setting goals and creating vision boards for the year ahead. As the year progresses, that excitement fades, pressure mounts at not achieving what one has set out to do, and instead of focusing on growth and change, survival mode kicks in, causing us to go into default mode.

There are two types of goals – realistic goals and dream goals. In January, once life is back on track, with stress management and having to fulfil certain tasks daily, our nervous systems become overwhelmed. Motivation then needs to come from compassion and understanding oneself better. Approaching goals at this point must be done with a certain degree of gentleness. Sustainable goals that are within your reach can help to keep up the momentum of staying motivated.

If you think of your body like a computer – if it has a virus, it will malfunction. Similarly, within the nervous system, when factors like tiredness and illness affect you, you will become dysregulated and suffer from energy leaks, causing a drain of vigour and mental clarity. Allowing the body to rest and reset through self-care will cause a natural flow of “energy, clarity and motivation.” Consistency will follow and flow from nurturing focus.

Unresolved emotional wounds, trauma, and chronic stress manifests not only in our minds but in our bodies and our subconscious thoughts as well. Chronic stress leads one to constantly remain on high alert, and past beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” can hinder the journey of healing. It is only when we get past these feelings and treat ourselves gently that we will be able to heal, grow and go forward.

Stay-at-home mums should focus on filling their own cups instead of putting their “wants and needs on the backburner.” Children sometimes do things that trigger the unhealed aspect within their parents, and this leads to the parent responding from a dysregulated nervous system and doing things like shouting, screaming or hitting.

In this society of the one extreme of “push through” and the other of sitting back and relaxing, we need to find the balance if we plan to stay motivated after January. A more lasting approach is to “reconnect with your purpose” and once you understand yourself and what you truly need, it will be easier to take “gentle steps” to address issues and set goals that align with your beliefs. We must make ourselves important on our own calendars and value ourselves instead of focusing on the needs of others and “people pleasing”. This will ultimately lead to eradicating feelings of resentment and put us in a better space to stay motivated.

Bibi Ayesha shared some practical ways to regulate the nervous system and reconnect with staying motivated:

• Reset your intention.
• Set a daily routine because “structure brings clarity” and reduces feelings of being overwhelmed.
• Take time to emotionally connect with yourself.
• Align with yourself and set your goals accordingly.
• Fit in self-care regimens like inculcating a good diet, exercise, breathwork, rest and spending time in nature.
• Practice gratitude.

Motivation cannot thrive under pressure, so create a space for consistent energy, clarity and focus. Author of the book Atomic Habits James Clear stated: “We do not rise to the level of our goals. We fall to the level of our systems.” Once we know how our systems operate, it will be easier to set goals and see them through. Have plans in place to allow you to reach the goals that you set. External factors, conditioning and behavioural patterns can cause you to slip off-track but treat yourself with compassion to take away the “fear of failing” and give yourself the grace to heal old wounds and try again.

Listen to the full pogram with Faaiza Munshi and Bib Ayesha Hoosen here.