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How Parents Can Avoid Creating Sibling Rivalry – Part 2

1. The Arrival of a New Born

The arrival of a new baby can bring many changes to a family. Parents spend a lot of energy on preparations, and after the baby arrives, much of the family’s attention involves caring for the newborn. All this change can be hard for older siblings to handle. It’s common for them to feel jealousy toward the newborn and to react to the upheaval by acting out.

But parents can prepare kids for an addition to the family. Discussing the pregnancy in terms that make sense to kids, making some arrangements, and including kids in the care of the newborn can make things easier for everyone.

The main reason for sibling rivalry when a newborn arrives is that the kids feel as if they are no longer wanted. As small as our kids are, they pick up language very quickly. Considering this, the words we use plays an important role. Using words like ‘your sister’ and ‘your brother’ or ‘our baby’ is better than referring to the baby by her/his name in front of the other kids. Why? Because the words our and your gives the child the impression that he/she is till part of the family.

Another thing we can do to avoid sibling rivalry is to include our child in looking after the new born. Give the child the opportunity to take out a new diaper from the bag or get a spoon when it is feeding time. The main thing is that we should never give our child the impression that the newborn is a competitor. If the newborn is crying, out of frustration we sometimes yell at our child and tell him to go play in the other room. This gives the impression that he is no more wanted and these impressions lead to sibling rivalry.

2. Make Individual Time

While trying to do such activities that involves all our children, we should also spend individual time with them. This makes each one feel special. Our children might all be different and their likes might be different. As parents, we need to identify the likes of each child and spend time with that particular child dong what he/she likes. It might not be possible to do it every day but we can try and do this at least once a week.

As they become older, the same principle will apply. But now, instead of activities it will be more about discussions.

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