Stay out of Squabbles
This one might surprise you, but do you know the best thing you can do when a disagreement starts to brew? Ignore it. That’s right, go find something else to do in another room. Don’t give the squabble any attention. As long as they don’t start fighting, screaming and throwing things, let them sort it out on their own. It actually could teach them negotiating skills.
By ignoring the tussle, you don’t reward negative behavior with your attention and most importantly, you give them a chance to work it out on their own. If the fight escalates into a physical throw down or you really feel like intervening is necessary, you can use the next two steps to guide your interactions when you do get involved.
Calm the Conflict – If your kids clearly can’t reach an agreement, or if the fight escalates, you might have to step in. Whatever you do, don’t take sides. You might think you heard or saw what started or who started the argument, but don’t place any judgment on either party.
Instead, once everyone is calm, listen to each child’s version of what happened and then, without placing blame or taking sides, ask them to come up with some solutions together. If no one is able to come up with a workable resolution, suggest a few yourself, and help them reach an agreement. Whatever you do don’t take sides
Put them all in the same boat – If, after hearing both sides and attempting to find a solution, your kids still can’t agree, it’s time to put them “all in the same boat.” That means everyone involved in the argument experiences the same outcome or consequence.
An “All in the Same Boat” statement would sound like this: “Either you can take turns with the game, or I will put it away for the rest of the day.” Then follow through. There will likely be some complaining and negotiating at first, but your kids will quickly realize it’s in their best interest to agree on a solution together before you “put them in the same boat.”
Conclusion – As a parent, do you understand what you achieved by adopting the above method? None of them can say that mummy loves me more or daddy is on my side because each one was treated equally. Sure, both could say that mommy or daddy is being unfair but as a parent, you rather have both feeling bad instead of one feeling superior. If your children feel they in the same boat, it is highly unlikely that they will be rivals. When the feeling of superiority and inferiority enters the equation, rivalry and enmity are sure to follow.