by Ejaz Khan ( @ejaz_k)

In these times of constant fake news, researchers have discovered that believing every piece of news you receive via WhatsApp can cause brain damage.

Goolam Ahmed(80), who wanted to remain anonymous, said he believed everything he received and now feels his brain is not working properly anymore. His daughter pointed out his age as a possible factor, but he brushed that comment off with ”Shut it, you ageist and bring me some tea”
But it doesn’t just affect one member per house.
”I only have 9 phone contacts, and one message said forward to 10 people for some good things to come into your life… the way I cried” his distraught wife Fatima told Radio Islam.

On the vaccine itself, some golden oldies also believe the conspiracy theory that there is a chip inserted into it, because they saw it on WhatsApp.
We asked Uncle Farid (72) how he believes that it works:

”They take the akhalwaya’s chip, liquidize it, and then they put it into you… and then you always crave Akhalwayas.”
We asked Aunty Nasreen (68) if she would take the vaccine when it arrives in South Africa in 2025, she said: ”Only if it is Sanha or NIHT Approved”

Basheer Bhai(65) said that he is, in all honesty, just tired of wearing the mask and ”it’s holidays now” so, after forwarding the importance of wearing masks to his family WhatsApp group at least 3 times a day for 8 months, he has now decided to forward the ”masks give you brain damage” messages so justify his polar shift in mindset.
“So if they check me out and about naked face tomorrow, they wont question me.
Genius, right?”

* This article is purely humour based. No facts were used in the writing…