Rabia Mayet | rabiamayet@radioislam.co.za

14 October 2026

4-minute read

There are some conversations we have every single day without really thinking about them. One of those is the instinctive answer: “I’m fine” to the simple question of: “How are you?” But what if fine isn’t really fine?

Behind those two words could be stress, anxiety, exhaustion, grief, loneliness, pressure or simply someone who has been holding things together for far longer than they should have had to. And sometimes, we don’t even realise how much we’re struggling until our minds and bodies start telling us that something isn’t right.

In conversation with Nadia Latib, Radio Islam presenter Faaiza Munshi went beyond “I’m fine” to understanding the emotional struggles, recognising when someone may need support, breaking down some of the barriers that prevent people from asking for help, and exploring how mental and emotional wellbeing can be spoken about comfortably.

Nadia has a unique background in physiotherapy, life coaching, holistic health and community education, as well as many years of experience working with people from different walks of life. In her years of working with people, she’s learned that “the thoughts that you think can lead to sickness and illness.” Emotions stem from life experiences, thoughts and traumas, and can manifest as an illness.

When someone repeatedly says “I’m fine” but isn’t actually fine, there’s something happening beneath the surface. There are particular emotional, behavioural or physical signs that could indicate someone is struggling even when they aren’t openly saying so. When you notice a person you know withdrawing, struggling to concentrate, losing interest, becoming unusually irritable and edgy, changing their sleep patterns, and not completing everyday tasks, then know that “I’m fine” is not fine at all. Stress can also manifest in physical symptoms like fatigue, muscle tension, headaches, and loss of appetite.

If you know someone who is really not fine, then:

1. Let him or her know that you’re there for them,
2. Be in a good space yourself so that you’re present and attentive to his or her struggles,
3. Be kind and empathetic,
4. Get family members or friends involved if you cannot address the issue yourself,
5. Get the necessary professional support for him or her, if need be, and
6. Follow-up a day or two later.

“The goal is not to force a confession, it’s just to make a connection possible,” says Nadia.

Everyone experiences difficult days, worry, stress and sadness. So how do we distinguish between going through a normal difficult period in life and recognising that we’re struggling to a point where we may need professional support? Nadia says that every difficult emotion should not be treated as an illness, but the intensity, duration and effect on daily functioning should be assessed. If the distress persists, don’t wait for the crisis to hit its peak before seeking professional support.

We often hear the phrases: “Allah tests those whom He loves” or “Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear.” While it is very difficult for a person to ask for help, and because everyone has been indoctrinated into specific beliefs, and because everyone deals with challenges differently, the person who is struggling must be reminded that whatever challenges he or she is facing is only through the will and decree of Allah SWT. Teach him or her to let go of the negative emotions and toxicity that has made him or her physically, mentally or emotionally sick, set boundaries and make the choice to heal.

When someone finally tells us, “I’m not okay,” what is the best way to respond? Nadia says:

• thank them for trusting you enough to confide in you,
• listen with care to what they have to say,
• do not minimise their experience by telling them to “just get over it,”
• do not immediately start dispensing advice or comparing their experiences,
• ask them if they’re willing to discuss solutions,
• avoid making yourself the only source of support,
• offer reliable, active support like taking over routine tasks.

Nadia comments: “Compassion does not mean that we must solve another person’s life problems.” People just want to be seen and heard, and listening alone can sometimes be enough.

Sometimes a person may feel guilty about struggling emotionally because they think, “I have faith, so why am I feeling this way?” We must understand that emotional and mental struggles are not a failure of our faith. “Having faith does not mean that we have to stop being human,” states Nadia. While we cannot judge a person’s spiritual state from their symptoms, healing can happen through clinical support from a professional, alongside spiritual support like grounding through salaah, dua, and having tawakkul. Nadia left the listeners with the message: “You can love Allah, you can have faith, and you can still need help…because you deserve compassion, not shame.”

Listen to the full discussion with Faaiza Munshi and Nadia Latib here.