Mumtaz Moosa | mumtazs@icloud.com
12 February 2025 | 11:15 CAT
2 min read

An interactive discussion on my platform recently explored why couples divorce after many years together. While I may not be a specialist in this field, I’ve noticed a common pattern—many couples become so busy building a life that they forget to nurture their relationship. Others find themselves lost when the kids grow up, get married, and move out. They no longer know what they have in common because they’ve spent the last 20 or 30 years focused on raising their children. Conversations revolve around the kids or extended family, leaving little room for meaningful connection as a couple.

From personal experience, I can confidently say that dating your spouse is one of the best investments you can make in a lasting, fulfilling marriage. I know life gets busy with work and schedules, and you may wonder how we find the time. The answer is simple: prioritise it.

Set aside time to reconnect, whether once a week or monthly. Choose a day when the kids are at school or other commitments allow. Start work a little later or take an hour in the evening just for each other. Go out for a coffee, walk, or even sit at home and share a meal—without distractions. Make it a rule: no conversations about the kids, no family discussions, and no phones. Instead, talk about each other. Ask your spouse about their week, what they’re reading, what’s on their bucket list, or enjoy their presence.

There’s no such thing as a “perfect” marriage, but there’s effort, and effort makes all the difference. Many couples settle into routines, and while routine brings stability, it can also create emotional distance if we don’t nurture our bond. Small efforts today prevent bigger rifts in the future.

As I mentioned on the radio, we evolve with time—our interests, hobbies, and even perspectives change. The last thing we want is to wake up one day next to a spouse who feels like a stranger.

When we got married, we were told marriage requires sabr (patience) and hard work. But that hard work isn’t just about building a life together; it’s also about ensuring we don’t drift apart. That way, when the empty nest phase arrives, we’re not left feeling like two strangers in the same home, but as two people who truly enjoy each other’s company.

Let’s make a collective effort to date our spouses this year—for the sake of our Creator and for the love that brought us together in the first place.