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Dealing With Disappointment – Accept Your Humanness

Oct 16, 2020

5. Accepting Your Humanness
Many of our cultures don’t acknowledge the validity of emotions – we’re taught from a young age that certain emotions are good and others are bad. So instead of learning how to accept and deal with our emotions, we’re taught that it’s better to bury them.

We are not emotionless beings, though. We were never meant to be.

Despite what our culture dictates, we experience very intense emotional states. We have the potential to accomplish great things and to reach high states of faith, but we are also susceptible to pain, sadness, and anger. We have to accept that feeling these things isn’t a form of weakness; it’s just the reality of how we were created.

One of the best examples of this is the incident of Maryam A.S. when she was in labour with Isa A.S. Allah Ta’aala says:

فَأَجَاءَهَا الْمَخَاضُ إِلَىٰ جِذْعِ النَّخْلَةِ قَالَتْ يَا لَيْتَنِي مِتُّ قَبْلَ هَٰذَا وَكُنْتُ نَسْيًا مَنْسِيًّا
“And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said: Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.” (19:23)

Allah Ta’aala didn’t respond to her cries by harshly saying, “Do not wish for death!” or “Be more patient!” Rather, it was said to her out of a great and wonderful mercy:

فَنَادَاهَا مِنْ تَحْتِهَا أَلَّا تَحْزَنِي قَدْ جَعَلَ رَبُّكِ تَحْتَكِ سَرِيًّا
“…Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream.” (19:24)

How merciful Allah is to have shown us such a human and authentic example of a woman who was in so much pain that she uttered her wish for death. Allah Ta’aala demonstrates to us how He responded with assurance, mercy, and love: “Do not grieve.”

Allah Ta’aala created us and understands that we have great weaknesses and that we are flawed and imperfect. Even the greatest men and women were human; they grieved just as we do, they felt with just as much intensity as we feel.

So even if you say or do something you regret, Allah Ta’aala is the Most Forgiving. As long as you’re alive, you still have the chance to redeem yourself. You still have the chance to reclaim the patience and constancy that you thought were lost to you


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