Rabia Mayet | rabiamayet@radioislam.co.za

27 November 2024

5-minute read

‘So you’re having a baby? Wow, congratulations! You’re going to have a bundle of joy!’

Most of us react in this way when we hear that someone is pregnant or has just given birth.  Shehzadi Deen, a doula and breastfeeding peer counsellor, says that however wonderful birth is, “there are many, many struggles that women go through,” and the most common ones are mum’s experiencing difficulty connecting with their babies, the changes in their lives and relationships, and the fear of vulnerability. During pregnancy, mum has the challenge of not knowing what to expect, fear of pain during childbirth, and the fear of a c-section if she has planned for a natural birth. In the post-partum period, mum worries about breastfeeding, post-partum depression, and family interferences.

“We need intervention,” says Shehzadi, to bring awareness to and normalize these discussions, so that those who are struggling with pregnancy and birth can get the support they need.

The new generation tends to ask questions and don’t shy away from gaining information and the knowledge that they need from the right people. Pregnancy, birth, and post-partum can be tough as they are “life-changing milestones”. It is imperative to have an emotional support system to reinforce a positive experience. Families and friends can create a safe space to support, listen and understand, and can offer the help that a new mum needs, like cooking a pot of food, caring for the other kids and even offering to do her grocery shopping. Communities can offer practical support through education and learning, because a “baby takes a village” to raise.

Once a woman gives birth, there is a drop in hormones which lead to the “baby blues”. Symptoms like mood swings, irritability, sadness, crying, feeling overwhelmed, changes in appetite, and changes in sleep patterns can be experienced. The signs of post-partum depression are the same but are more intense and last longer. Some of these signs include withdrawal from family, a feeling of disconnect with their baby, feelings of wanting to harm themselves or their baby, and a general feeling of hopelessness. “The emotional struggles once you become a mum are normal” says Shehzadi. Doulas themselves are equipped to pick up the symptoms of depression.

As a family or friend, be supportive and non-judgmental to make it easier for mum to navigate through her feelings, be kind and gentle, and compliment her to raise her self-esteem. Husbands should attend pre-natal or birth-preparation classes to pick up symptoms and get mum the help she needs.

Societal expectations are unrealistic after a woman has given birth and mum is no longer allowed to “feel how you feel in the moment of things”. The 40-day resting period post-birth is necessary for all mums because of bodily changes, hormonal changes and the humongous task of looking after a new baby. “Listen to your body,” says Shehzadi, and allow your body time to heal from “the inside out”.

Another problem is dealing with body image in the post-partum stage. We need to “give ourselves some grace” and “time to heal” and realize that it takes time for our bodies to return to how they were. Mums should also accept their “amazing strong body” that has created and grown an entire human being. Slowly introduce a workout routine and a healthy diet to take care of your body and in turn take care of your family. Shehzadi concluded with the quotes: “The post-partum body is simply the most beautiful vessel that has grown a new life for 9 months and it now requires rest, support, deep nourishment, and lots and lots of love.”

Listen to the full interview with Faaiza Munshi on New Horizons.