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The impact of tone in your conversations


Shakirah Hunter

I was walking through the shopping centre close to my home , rushing through my day when I heard an elderly man say something that made me stop. A well dressed old man ,his hands shaking tells the lady he is talking to “forgive me I can’t think properly because I just had a bad altercation with someone”. He was physically shaking and dropped his keys. The lady quickly asked if he had been hurt physically , and he went on to describe how verbally this person had rendered him nervous and shaking.

I walked on, having overhead this in a few seconds ,but the incident stayed with me the entire day. A person raise his voice at another and that simple act affected this man and caused such a huge reaction.

It was in that moment that I finally understood the reason that the Holy Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم described one of the people who will enter into Jannah with ease being the one who had the quality of الان الكلام – a softness in speech.

We often understand that our words have impact or they might hurt in the manner or the type of words. But this hadith directs us to the tone of our wording. The deliberate choice of softening our words so that we don’t cause harm to the person to whom those words reach.

Now at times we may be naturally loud , and boisterous.It is not wrong to be loud or energetic, however this does not mean that we should not check our tone and the impact that may have on the people around you. We tend to take alot of care in the words that we use , but often we forget that our Tone impacts the listener and can sometimes give a different meaning than the one intended. Many people might not understand sarcasm , or irony and misunderstand  that we might be saying. Tone allows us to take info consideration who we are addressing.

Allah subhanahu wa Ta’ala says, “And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.”

This draws our attention to the manner of the Noble Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم ). He had been instructed by Allah to have a soft approach , to reframe His manner of dealing with the Sahabah – for Allah states that if He has not been soft in His manner they would have fled from around Him.
Additionally ,we see how Allah commands Moosa عليه السلام whilst talking to Firoun the Great enemy of Allah قولوا له قولا لينا “Speak to him in a soft speech.

To guide us in our tone ,the Holy Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم has said :

“The fire has been made haraam upon every kind ,soft spoken person who is easy and close to people”.
((حُرِّم على النار كلُّ هيِّن ليِّن سهل قريب من الناس)
We ask Allah Ta’ala to grant us kindness in our speech and softness in our tone.


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