The Power of Kindness

The Kindness of Words – The Power of What We Say

Have we ever stopped to consider just how much power our words carry? A few words spoken in a moment can encourage someone, restore their confidence, bring comfort to a person going through difficulty or make someone feel valued. Yet those very same words, if spoken carelessly, can hurt, humiliate, discourage and leave a lasting impression on someone’s heart.

We often associate kindness with what we do for others. We think about helping someone financially, giving charity, offering assistance or going out of our way to make life easier for another person. But one of the most important ways in which we demonstrate kindness is through something we use every single day: our tongues.

The interesting thing about words is that they cost us absolutely nothing. We do not need money, special resources or extraordinary abilities to speak kindly. Yet, despite how easily we can offer a word of encouragement, appreciation or comfort, we sometimes find ourselves being careless with the way we speak to others.

Think about our everyday conversations. How often do we respond impatiently when someone asks us a question? How often do we make sarcastic remarks and disguise them as jokes? How often do we criticise someone without considering how our words might affect them? And how often do we fail to acknowledge someone simply because we assume they already know how much we appreciate them?

Islam places tremendous importance on the way we speak. Allah Ta’ala says in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 83:

وَقُولُوا۟ لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا

“And speak to people good words.”

Notice how beautifully simple this instruction is. We are not told to speak kindly only to those we like, those who agree with us or those who treat us well. The instruction is general: speak good words to people. This means that kindness should be reflected in our everyday conversations, whether we are speaking to family members, friends, colleagues, strangers or even people with whom we may disagree.

Allah Ta’ala also reminds us in Surah Al-Isra, verse 53:

وَقُل لِّعِبَادِى يَقُولُوا۟ ٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ ۚ إِنَّ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنَ يَنزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ ۚ

“And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Shaytaan sows discord among them.”

This verse is particularly relevant because sometimes it is not necessarily what we say, but how we say it, that creates problems. Two people can communicate the same message, but one can do so with respect and consideration while the other speaks with arrogance, harshness and disrespect. The message may be similar, but the impact can be completely different.

Rasulullah ﷺ gave us a very important principle to live by. In a Hadith recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, he said:

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.”

This Hadith gives us something to think about before we speak. We should ask ourselves: Are these words necessary? Are they beneficial? Will they encourage someone or will they unnecessarily hurt them? Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is remain silent, particularly when we are angry, frustrated or tempted to say something that we may later regret.

One area where this lesson is especially important is within our homes. We sometimes speak to strangers with greater courtesy than we speak to our own family members. We are careful with our words at work, we maintain our manners in public and we make an effort to sound pleasant when speaking to people outside the home. Yet, with our parents, spouses, siblings and children, we sometimes allow frustration to dictate our language.

A parent may unintentionally discourage a child through constant criticism. A husband and wife may damage their relationship through hurtful remarks made during arguments. Siblings may carry resentment for years because of words spoken in moments of anger. These situations remind us that our words can either strengthen relationships or slowly weaken them.

Another important aspect of kindness through words is understanding that not every person needs advice when they approach us. Sometimes people simply need someone to listen. Someone who is going through a difficult time may not be looking for solutions or explanations. They may simply need a person who will listen without judging, interrupting or dismissing their feelings.

And kindness through words is not limited to face-to-face conversations. Today, much of our communication takes place through WhatsApp messages, social media comments and online discussions. The fact that we are communicating behind a screen does not give us permission to abandon our manners. A hurtful comment can be just as damaging whether it is spoken aloud or typed on a phone.

As we reflect on today’s discussion, perhaps we should make a conscious effort to become more mindful of our speech. Let us compliment rather than constantly criticise, encourage rather than discourage, listen rather than interrupt, and think before responding when we are upset.

We cannot always control what others say to us, but we can take responsibility for the words that come out of our own mouths.

Remember, kindness is not only measured by what we give with our hands. It is also measured by what we give through our words. A kind word costs nothing, but its value to the person receiving it can be immeasurable.