Apologise Part 3

When Does the Need to Apologise Arise?

We do not go around as if we are carrying a rosary bead or a tasbeeh, uttering, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” and just apologising for no reason.  When does the need to apologise arise? There are a few circumstances when it is important for you to apologise.  Simply put, when you have transgressed someone’s rights, or when you have not fulfilled their rights, meaning when you did something that you were not supposed to do, or you did not do something that you were supposed to do, you did not fulfil the next person’s rights. You may have transgressed that person’s rights, or, if you hurt that person, or offended them, you must apologise to the person.

We have this attitude that reflects the following sentiments: “Well, if he felt bad, that’s his problem,” or “I’m a very straightforward person, and I tell it how it is.” That is not part of good character. That is not in tune and in alignment with the sunnah of Rasoolullah ﷺ.  We should not only apologise when we have done something which we know is wrong but also inappropriate. What we told the person may have been correct, but perhaps the words we used were a bit too harsh. The person was guilty of something, and they warranted a punishment, but maybe we took it a little too far. So even when it is something inappropriate, rather err on the side of caution and apologise.

In a Hadith of Rasoolullah ﷺ, if two people have had an argument, and the one is wrong, but the other one who is in the right apologises and walks away from the argument, Allah will give the latter a house on the outskirts of Jannah. Remember you can believe you are right but there is always the possibility that you are wrong. Even the great jurists like Abu Hanifa, Imam Shafi’ee, Imam Maliki, Imam Ahmed, would say that while they believed their viewpoint was correct, it nevertheless carried the possibility that they were wrong. And even though they believed that the viewpoint of the other jurors was incorrect, they acknowledged that it carried the possibility of being correct. That is humility.

We are human. We are fallible. We cannot believe that we are 100% right all the time. We may believe that we are right, but there is always the possibility that we are wrong. Therefore, it is safer to apologise if there is a controversy or a dispute. And if you feel you are right yet for the greater good you apologise, Rasoolullah ﷺ says, “I guarantee you a house in the middle of Jannah.” This is the prime land in Jannah.

So, when the need arises to apologise, say sorry! Apologising is powerful.

{Extracted and adapted from Volume One of the book In Pursuit of Purpose by Ml Sulaimaan Ravat}