In any stage in life, we come across conflict. It is inevitable but can we resolved if the right methods are used. Children, for example experience conflict such as bullying, or general class or race classification.
For this reason, just as parents teach their children how to adapt and be socially skilled, they also need to teach them to be conflict competent. Experts believe that the younger we teach our children to conflict-component, it can help them develop their self esteem as well as deal with conflict at an older age.
Radio Islam speaks to a family & parenting coach, Susan Gregor- Harlen on how parents can cultivate this skill.
Family & parenting coach, Susan Gregor- Harlen.
According to a study by Vedabhyas Kundu titled ‘Conflict competence: An Exploration of it’s importance and skills’, “Enhancing our conflict competencies will help us negotiate the complexities in different conflict situations that we may encounter.”
The study adds: “Nurturing appropriate skills and abilities to analyze the root causes of conflicts and developing capabilities to address these will help us to ensure lasting resolution of these conflicts. Developing conflict competencies is not a one-time training process; instead it is an ongoing process requiring constant additions to skills and experiences.”
Conflict in children, can lead to long-term concerns if not resolved correctly.
Children facing conflict carry those emotions or anxiety or fear that then impacts their lives in a negative way. It impacts a child’s ability to learn, to self manage or create relationships.
“If you can’t learn in a classroom, your marks go down, your self confidence goes does and if you can’t interact and form health friendships, you feel isolated and that makes you feel angrier. It just has a long term effect,” says Gregor- Harlen.
Parents can teach children practical skills on conflict competency by being an example to their children on how to handle conflict.
Listening skills are also important to navigate how children learn.
“Conflict is okay, it’s absolutely healthy, it’s just the way that we manage it,” says Gregor- Harlen.
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