The Power of Kindness

Kindness Begins With Us

Kindness is one of those qualities that almost everyone admires, yet practising it consistently is not always as easy as we might think. We appreciate people who are gentle, considerate and thoughtful towards us. We enjoy being around those who make us feel valued and respected. But how often do we stop and examine whether we ourselves are offering that same kindness to the people around us?

When we speak about kindness, we often imagine grand gestures: giving someone money, helping a family in need, donating towards a worthy cause or going out of our way to assist a stranger. While all these actions are certainly forms of kindness, the truth is that kindness is often found in much smaller, everyday interactions. It is in the way we greet someone, the patience we show when somebody makes a mistake, the tone we use when speaking to our parents, and the consideration we give to people whose circumstances we may not fully understand.

And this is where our discussion begins: kindness is not something we should only expect from others. It is something we must first cultivate within ourselves.

Islam places tremendous emphasis on good character and beautiful conduct. Allah Ta’ala says in Surah An-Nahl, verse 90:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْعَدْلِ وَٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآئِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ وَٱلْبَغْىِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

“Indeed, Allah commands justice, good conduct and giving to relatives, and forbids immorality, bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.”

Notice that Allah Ta’ala does not only instruct us to fulfil our obligations and stay away from wrongdoing. He also commands Ihsan – excellence in our conduct. This means going beyond the bare minimum in the way we treat people. It means being considerate, showing compassion and making an effort to bring goodness into the lives of others.

When we look at the life of Rasulullah ﷺ, we find the most beautiful example of what kindness should look like. His kindness was not limited to those who agreed with him, respected him or treated him well. He demonstrated gentleness towards children, compassion towards the elderly, consideration towards the vulnerable and patience even when dealing with difficult people.

This is a powerful reminder that good character is not something secondary in our Deen. It is central to the example we have been given by our beloved Nabi ﷺ.

Rasulullah ﷺ also taught us something remarkable about kindness. In a Hadith recorded in Sahih Muslim (Hadith 2594a), he said:

إِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لاَ يَكُونُ فِي شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ زَانَهُ وَلاَ يُنْزَعُ مِنْ شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ شَانَهُ

“Kindness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.”

Think about what this means in our everyday lives. A household becomes a happier place when its members treat one another with kindness. A workplace becomes more pleasant when colleagues show consideration. Even a difficult conversation can have a completely different outcome when it is approached with gentleness rather than anger.

But there is an interesting contradiction in human behaviour. Sometimes we are at our most polite with strangers and at our least patient with the people closest to us. We smile at people in public, speak respectfully to colleagues and carefully choose our words when dealing with people we hardly know. Yet, when we return home, we may become impatient with our parents, dismissive towards our siblings or unnecessarily harsh with our children.

Why does this happen? Perhaps because we become so comfortable with those closest to us that we forget they too deserve our gentleness and consideration. We sometimes assume that because they love us, they will simply tolerate our moods, our sharp words and our lack of patience. But surely the people who share our lives deserve the very best of our character, not merely whatever is left over after everyone else has received our good manners.

Another important point is that kindness does not mean allowing people to take advantage of us. Being kind does not mean we cannot disagree, establish boundaries or correct someone when they are wrong. It is possible to be firm without being cruel, to disagree without being disrespectful and to correct someone without humiliating them. Kindness is not weakness; it is strength guided by good character.

Rasulullah ﷺ said in a Hadith recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim:

“Allah is Kind and loves kindness in all matters.”