The kitchen was warm and cosy as we sat around the table making up savouries for the rest of the month. The days had flown past, and we have almost reached the middle point of Ramadan.

Aunty Fatima, Mama’s wife, my mum, Ayesha, Nani, and I sat around the table talking about family gatherings and the hilarious stories that came with that. We were all relaxed and jovial and soft laughter filled the air as we reminisced and teased.  I was basking in the happiness of the moment, savouring the closeness of loved ones and letting the warmth flow over me.

Just then, Aunty Fatima remarks, “You know Sofia, no-one is going to marry you. Who wants to marry a girl who cannot roll round rotis and donno how to fill samoosas?”

The warmth glow was sucked out of the room as her words silenced everyone. This was so like her, always seeking attention at the expense of others.

I responded with a hint of sarcasm, “But, dearest Aunty Fatima, I’m planning on marrying a chef! That way, he can do all the cooking and I won’t have to worry about whether I roll round rotis or fold the best samoosas.”

“But seriously Aunty Fatima, do you think that men today still use the same measuring stick when choosing their wives like Dad and Mama did?”

“I don’t think so, because times have changed drastically and women today have empowered themselves to go out and work, earn a living for themselves, be independent and this is somehow more appealing to men today. And being able to cook and make samoosas is a great plus but has become optional.”

“See Aunty, today we have cookery books, home industries where we can buy the things we suck at making and of course, men today like to eat out.”

“Areh Sofia, what you know about marriage, huh?’, she asked shaking her head like the Bobby-Bob-my Head on my classmates’ car dash!

My mother and Nani were keeping silent, but I felt like I was about to blow a gasket. When will some women realise that we are not just put on this earth to be at the beck and call of a man, making his round rotis and perfect, triangular samoosas? What if chose to make my rotis triangles and my samoosas round? Why do I, the women, always have to follow what society deems to be a one-size-fits-all approach is good enough for all women?

Ayesha suddenly piped up with her two cents worth, “You know Aunty Fatima, just the other day, Nana and Nani gave us girls a talk on marriage. A marriage is more than just the skills each spouse can bring to the table. It is also about being best friends, partners who work to uplift, empower, and encourage each other. After all, each spouse is meant to be a garment for each other and lead each other to Jannah.”

But Aunty Fatima would not be convinced. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and said, “You’re just too fussy Sofia. You should stop all this fancy-vancy thinking and settle down before we have to take you off the shelf and dust you off every month.”

My patience had run out and just as I was about to respond, Daadi came in through the garden entrance. Having heard part of the conversation, she immediately chipped in. “Let us all agree that we need to have trust in Allah, make dua that Sofia and Ayesha are given good husbands when the time is right, in sha Allah. If our Nabi, peace, and blessings be upon him, could help at home then the husbands must do the same. It is a sunnah.”

She smiled at me gently and said, “Sofia, you are a lovely child, and we are all making dua that you and Ayesha will find good spouses. But whilst you are here with us, let us enjoy you both.”

The atmosphere was still quite tense when Nani piped up, “Just make sure that you choose a man like your Nana and you will be happy for the rest of your life, just like me. But, make sure you get a good set of earplugs!”

We all burst into laughter and soon the incident was forgotten as we completed the savouries and began preparations for iftar.

I sat on my prayer mat that night thinking of myself as Sophia, the Spinster. I realised then that my grandmother was right, everything comes from Allah, whether it is hidayah, rizq or a spouse. And it all comes from Him, in His time, for the reasons He knows is best for us.

I opened to where I had left off reading my Qur’an and the ayah that caught my attention, also gave me hope. “And indeed, We have created man, and We know whatever thoughts his inner self develops, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16).