My Dad was showing no progress, and we were all concerned but still hopeful. I left his health and wellbeing to Allah, Almighty for I know that He knows best.

Fatima needed to go see her Aunt whom we fondly called Umme. She was not related to Fatima but was her Islamic teacher at the orphanage. She lived in a small town just outside of London and would spend time with us when her son travelled to Pakistan. Fatima and she had established a close bond whilst spending many years together and as she was unable to conceive a daughter, she had “adopted” Fatima. Since Umme had taken ill, thankfully not with Covid, Fatima had gone to take care of her.

I dressed for work and on my way, I felt a sense of liberation. I took in the sounds of London’s hurly-burly traffic, and the sounds of the dialects spoken, and not to mention the smells of the Thames. Algamdoelillah, even with the most gloomy weather.

Entering the office, I had my feelings deflated as I heard a Muslim colleague talking to another, referring to me as “Sam the wannabe Muslim.” It was disconcerting to hear, but I remembered how the same person would pass remarks about Fatima turning me into an “old-fashioned” person, as I had started wearing the hijab. Of course, this hurt and, often it made me doubt my reversion.

Sadly, this was a reality for many Muslims coming into Deen as I had gathered from my own experience as well as from others who had taken the Shahadah. Fatima had made me aware of this, but each episode made me cringe. I had to remind myself that Allah has chosen each of us to be Muslim, and it is through His mercy that I and many of my fellow new Muslims were honoured in this way.

With that thought in mind, I walked over to my desk and busied myself. My thoughts, however, remained on the incident and I made a conscious decision to pray for my fellow Muslims who thought that pleasing Allah by following His commands made me old-fashioned or any other thoughts that they may harbour against me and others entering Islam.

The day was busy, but I had, with Fatima’s help, created a productivity calendar that allowed me to ensure that I prayed my salaah on time, and even made dhikr whilst performing my tasks. Fatima’s wise words echoed in my mind as I struggled through the day, with back to back meetings, “in life you must find balance.”

After performing the Asr salaah, I typed a quick text to Fatima, to check on her and Umme’s wellbeing. I missed her very much and shared that I was still the latest office gossip.
Fatima’s response was brief but as usual, she shared what had become her daily advice to me and a lesson as well. We had agreed that I should learn the ninety-nine names of Allah, and every other day, she would send a name to me to recite as well as understand its glory and purpose.

“Allah is Al’ Afuwwu, the One who pardons.” Her request after that was twofold, let bygones be bygones regarding the situation in the office and more close to home, she asked that I forgive my brother and pray to Allah to soften his heart and guide him to righteousness.

That evening, as I asked Allah to change the hearts of my family and to grant my father healing, I thanked Him for the wonderful sister He had blessed me with, to share in my times of sorrow and pain and my joy but mostly because she was my guide to His beautiful way of life. Algamdoelillah for everything!