The Women Who Shaped Us

The Women We Don’t See

Yesterday, we began our Women’s Day theme for the week: “The Women Who Shaped Us.”

And although Women’s Day was officially observed on Sunday, the truth is that appreciating women shouldn’t end when the calendar moves.

In fact, perhaps the best time to talk about the meaning of Women’s Day is after the celebrations are over.

The messages have been sent.

The social media posts have been shared.

The “Happy Women’s Day” messages have come and gone.

But what happens now?

Because if Women’s Day is really about recognising the contribution of women, then perhaps we need to look beyond the public celebrations and notice something that is much easier to miss.

The women we don’t see.

• The women whose work happens quietly.
• The women whose contributions don’t always make headlines.
• The women who don’t necessarily receive awards, recognition or applause.

But without them, many families and communities simply would not function the same way.

Think about the mother who wakes up before everyone else and goes to sleep after everyone else.

Think about the woman who works a full day and then comes home to another set of responsibilities.

• Think about the grandmother who is always there to look after the grandchildren.
• Think about the daughter who helps care for an elderly parent.
• Think about the woman who quietly supports her husband through difficult circumstances.
• Think about the teacher who spends extra time helping a struggling child.
• Think about the nurse who comforts someone who is frightened.
• Think about the woman in the community who is always organising, helping, feeding, teaching or simply checking in on people.

These women may not consider themselves extraordinary.

They may simply say: “I’m just doing what needs to be done.” But sometimes doing what needs to be done, day after day, year after year, is exactly what makes someone extraordinary.

And there is something interesting about sacrifice. The person making the sacrifice doesn’t always announce it. They don’t necessarily tell everyone what they have given up.

A mother may give up opportunities because her children need her.

A woman may put her own needs aside because somebody else in the family needs help.

Someone may spend years supporting another person’s dream without ever receiving credit for the part they played in making that dream possible.

And sometimes we only realise the size of someone’s contribution when they are no longer there to do it.

That’s when you suddenly notice the things they used to handle.

The phone calls they used to make.

The meals they used to prepare.

The advice they used to give.

The family gatherings they used to organise.

The person everyone used to call when there was a problem.

And you realise:

“She was holding so much together, and we didn’t even notice.”

That is why appreciation is so important.

Because people shouldn’t have to disappear before we realise their value.

We shouldn’t wait until a mother is elderly before we tell her what she means to us.

We shouldn’t wait until a grandmother has passed away before we tell our children about the lessons she taught us.

We shouldn’t wait until a teacher retires before we tell her that she changed someone’s life.

And we shouldn’t wait for one day a year to recognise the women who are contributing to our lives every single day.

There is also another side to this conversation.

Sometimes society has created an expectation that women should simply be able to handle everything.

• She’s a mother, so she must manage the children.
• She’s a wife, so she must manage the home.
• She’s working, so she must manage her career.
• She’s a daughter, so she must care for her parents.
• She’s the strong one, so everyone assumes she will cope.

But being strong doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t need support.

A woman can be strong and still need help.

She can be independent and still appreciate someone standing beside her.

She can be capable and still become tired.

She can smile and still have difficult days.

And perhaps one of the greatest forms of respect is not simply telling a woman:

“You’re so strong.”

Sometimes it’s saying:

“You don’t have to carry everything alone. How can I help?”

That’s a very different kind of appreciation.

It turns words into action.

And this is where the conversation becomes relevant not just to women, but to everyone.

Because if we want to honour the women who shaped us, then we also have to ask ourselves:

Are we making their lives easier, or are we adding to their burdens?

This question isn’t about blaming anyone.

It`s about becoming more aware.

Because sometimes the people closest to us are the people we notice the least.