By Mumtaz Moosa-Saley
Ayesha and I were alone as Mohammed had taken the children out.
Ayshoo seemed worried and tense.
“Behta, are you okay? You seem worried.” I asked as she walked around the kitchen, putting away the dishes.
After some time, Ayesha sat down and began talking, “Dad, I bumped into Uncle Farouk’s daughter, Summayah, yesterday. She doesn’t live away from him as the others do.”, she said.
“So, while we were chatting, I asked her if Uncle Farouk would be spending Eid with them, so you or Ahmed could take him through. She explained that she was having guests over for Eid and that she had planned an elegant do with social media influencers so that she could promote her business. But I was upset when she said that her father was not invited as he was old and wouldn’t fit in.” Ayesha said, her eyes filled with tears, and her voice was full of emotion.
“Ayesha, I think it’s best not to say anything about this to Uncle Farouk. I don’t want him to find out, and he will be upset. Also, we don’t want to have others start making their punchaat.”, I said, but I was heartsore for my friend.
“Now listen, Ayesha, I know you will want to say something to Summayah, but remember that you must advise, and after that, we should make dua. And please be mindful of the adhaab of advising, as we are instructed by Nabi Moosa A.S.” I cautioned Ayesha, who could sometimes get ahead of herself.
“So, ensure you request permission first to give advice, listen before you respond and don’t judge or overthink the situation. Speak clearly and calmly and be direct, honest, and base your advice on what is shared.”, I reminded her.
Ayesha was about to say something, but I stopped her, reminding her that she should give advice as fairly as possible and leave it.
“Anyway, Farouk has us, and he will spend Eid here anyway. Let’s not blow this out of proportion, okay.” I said sternly.
“Okay, Dad, I understand. I’m going to finish my para of Quran in the lounge.”. she said as she left.
Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said: With regard to giving sincere advice to the Muslims, [the one who wishes to do that] should love for them what he loves for himself, hate for them what he hates for himself, feel compassion for them, show mercy to their young ones, show respect to their elders, and share their grief and their joy, even if that is detrimental to his worldly interests, such as loving for prices to be dropped for them, even if that causes him to lose some profits on what he sells of trade goods. By the same token, he should hate everything that could cause them harm. He should love what is good for them and hope for harmony to exist among them and for them to continue enjoying the blessings of Allah. He should pray that they always prevail against their enemies and that all harm be warded off from them.