Peace Starts With Me

The Peace Behind Forgiveness

This week on Radio Islam, our theme has been “Peace Starts With Me.”

We began by looking at peace within ourselves, then we looked at the power of our words, and yesterday we spoke about maintaining peace in our relationships.

Today, we come to something that can be very difficult, but is also incredibly powerful: forgiveness.

Every one of us will experience moments when someone hurts us, disappoints us, says something unkind or treats us in a way we feel is unfair.

And when that happens, holding onto anger can sometimes feel easier than letting go.

But the question is: What does holding onto that anger actually do to us?

Why is forgiveness so difficult?

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that what happened didn’t matter.

It doesn’t mean that we have to pretend we weren’t hurt.

And it doesn’t mean that we should ignore serious wrongdoing or allow someone to continue hurting us.

Forgiveness is about making a conscious decision not to allow anger, resentment and the desire for revenge to control us.

Sometimes we keep replaying an argument in our minds. We think about what the person said. We think about what we should have said in response. We tell other people about what happened, and every time we talk about it, the anger comes back.

The other person may have moved on — but we are still carrying the burden.

That is why forgiveness can be a form of freedom.

Forgiveness in Islam

Forgiveness is a quality strongly encouraged in Islam.

Allah reminds us of the virtue of pardoning others, and the Qur’an teaches believers to restrain anger and pardon people.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also demonstrated forgiveness throughout his life, including in situations where he had every reason to be deeply hurt by the actions of others.

This doesn’t mean that Islam tells us to ignore justice.

There is a difference between forgiving someone and allowing wrongdoing to continue.

We can forgive someone while still setting appropriate boundaries.

We can move forward without pretending that something never happened.

And sometimes reconciliation may not mean returning to exactly the same relationship we had before. It may simply mean letting go of the hatred and choosing not to carry the conflict with us.

The courage to apologise

Forgiveness isn’t only about forgiving others.

Sometimes we are the ones who need to apologise.

And that can be just as difficult.

Our pride can tell us, “Why should I apologise first?”

We may think the other person was more wrong than we were.

But sometimes peace requires us to put our pride aside and acknowledge our own mistakes.

A sincere apology doesn’t make us weak.

Being able to say “I was wrong”, “I shouldn’t have said that” or “I’m sorry for hurting you” can take real courage.

And sometimes that small admission is enough to begin repairing a relationship.

Peace Starts With Me

Forgiveness doesn’t always happen instantly.

Sometimes it is a process.

But it can begin with a decision:

“I don’t want this anger to control me anymore.”

That’s what makes forgiveness so closely connected to our theme, “Peace Starts With Me.”

Because sometimes peace doesn’t come from changing what happened.

Sometimes peace begins when we change how we carry it.